There are some amazing things happening at the Olympics. Records are shattered as new ones take their place. The thrilling wins and the unbelievable losses have made these games exciting and heartbreaking. But I do confess that beneath my Olympics gung ho, life is beautiful approach, I can't help but giggle at some of the things I've seen in the Olympics. There are funny moments, and there are stupid funny moments. And I can't seem to resist poking a little juvenile fun at the Beijing games. Now, I know that these athletes are great and outstanding; and I know that some of these events are tough and extremely difficult. Still, I can't suppress the naughty part of my brain from making jokes about the names and events I've seen so far.
How about those hot and sexy athletes? Wouldn't you just love getting down with some Beavers?
(Canadian swimmer Keith Beavers)
And the Olympics has some of the best beavers in the world.
Still, you have to be careful. Even at the Olympics, bad Poon can make you sick.
(Canadian swimmer Victoria Poon was quarantined in Beijing for chickenpox!)
Need a little advice on Snatch? Just ask the man who won the gold medal in it.
(S. Korean Sae Jae-hyouk wins gold in his wt class for the snatch in wt lifting)
But perhaps you would rather have a nice Tancock instead,
If you want, you can get you a spotted dick as well. A tan can cause freckles to appear.
(British swimmer Liam Tancock)
And if one Dong isn't enough, how about two? (Chinese gymnast Dong Dong)
But if you're man who enjoys his Dix,
(US sprinter Walter Dix)
You just might be Gay. (US sprinter Tyson Gay)
I've seen some really funny, strange events too. Did you know that there's an actual Olympic sport called the 20km walk? That's right, the speed walking the old ladies you see doing after dinner is an actual Olympic sport! And it took place yesterday, Aug 16th in China, Day 7 of the Olympics!
That's about 12 1/2 miles of walking around in a elongated circle! I kept yelling at the athletes, 'Run, dammit, run!' but apparently, that's not allowed.
In fact, the officials can kick your jogging ass out if you run. And what an incredible win by Russia's 21 year old Valeriy Borchin, who was misnamed by his own country's press! Bet they won't forget his name now! And the silver went to Ecuador's Jefferson Perez, the 1996 Gold medalist, who promptly fainted during the interview and was rushed to the medical facilities! How's that for drama!
In your face, bitches! That's Gold, mofo! Can you or your powerwalking grandma say the same? I don't think so!
Then there's the 3000m steeplechase qualifying event that took place yesterday. You know, it's bad enough running 3000m, jumping over hurdles.
Except, these aren't regular hurdles, they're actual barriers! These are solid 4x4 inches of bolted beams! They can take out a knee if you can't jump over it!
But that's not the worst part! Apparently, some genius decided to add a water jump to the course. That's right, you have to jump over a barrier that's attached to a tub of water!
And if you think the men's event was interesting, the best is yet to come! Check out the women's 3000m steeplechase qualifying event. Did someone say shoe sale!?!
And check out the crash and burn at the water jump! Out of my way bitch! It's like George Clooney is waiting at the finish line with a truckload of Manolo Blahniks and Ferragamos, wearing nothing but the gold medal around his Olympic torch.
(Look at pile up in the right corner. Ouch!)
And then there's my favorite guilty pleasure event of all. Girls! Girls! Girls! on Trampolines!
That's right ladies and gentlemen, girls on trampolines.
It's an actual Olympic event!
And they had a spectacular qualifying event on Saturday in China, Aug 16th.
But don't think it's all fun and games. Sometimes, an athlete can miss a landing and bounce into some serious hurt!
Of course, was there any doubt China and Russia would make it?
But fear not ladies (and certain gentlemen)! There's a men's trampoline event as well!
Check 'em out.
This dude shows us why it's such a fun event.
How about these dudes flying high?
Check out superman!
Of course, the Chinese and the Russians advance to the finals. Still, I can't help but be excited about watching the finals. Just think! If girls on trampoline is an Olympic sport, then I can't wait for the London games! Surely that's when the Wet T shirt contest and women's mud wrestling will make a rousing debut!