Saturday, August 16, 2008

Olympic Fun

There are some amazing things happening at the Olympics. Records are shattered as new ones take their place. The thrilling wins and the unbelievable losses have made these games exciting and heartbreaking. But I do confess that beneath my Olympics gung ho, life is beautiful approach, I can't help but giggle at some of the things I've seen in the Olympics. There are funny moments, and there are stupid funny moments. And I can't seem to resist poking a little juvenile fun at the Beijing games. Now, I know that these athletes are great and outstanding; and I know that some of these events are tough and extremely difficult. Still, I can't suppress the naughty part of my brain from making jokes about the names and events I've seen so far.

How about those hot and sexy athletes? Wouldn't you just love getting down with some Beavers?

(Canadian swimmer Keith Beavers)

And the Olympics has some of the best beavers in the world.

Still, you have to be careful. Even at the Olympics, bad Poon can make you sick.

(Canadian swimmer Victoria Poon was quarantined in Beijing for chickenpox!)

Need a little advice on Snatch? Just ask the man who won the gold medal in it.

(S. Korean Sae Jae-hyouk wins gold in his wt class for the snatch in wt lifting)

But perhaps you would rather have a nice Tancock instead,

If you want, you can get you a spotted dick as well. A tan can cause freckles to appear.

(British swimmer Liam Tancock)

And if one Dong isn't enough, how about two?
(Chinese gymnast Dong Dong)

But if you're man who enjoys his Dix,

(US sprinter Walter Dix)

You just might be Gay. (US sprinter Tyson Gay)

I've seen some really funny, strange events too. Did you know that there's an actual Olympic sport called the 20km walk? That's right, the speed walking the old ladies you see doing after dinner is an actual Olympic sport! And it took place yesterday, Aug 16th in China, Day 7 of the Olympics!

That's about 12 1/2 miles of walking around in a elongated circle! I kept yelling at the athletes, 'Run, dammit, run!' but apparently, that's not allowed.

In fact, the officials can kick your jogging ass out if you run. And what an incredible win by Russia's 21 year old Valeriy Borchin, who was misnamed by his own country's press! Bet they won't forget his name now! And the silver went to Ecuador's Jefferson Perez, the 1996 Gold medalist, who promptly fainted during the interview and was rushed to the medical facilities! How's that for drama!

In your face, bitches! That's Gold, mofo! Can you or your powerwalking grandma say the same? I don't think so!

Then there's the 3000m steeplechase qualifying event that took place yesterday. You know, it's bad enough running 3000m, jumping over hurdles.

Except, these aren't regular hurdles, they're actual barriers! These are solid 4x4 inches of bolted beams! They can take out a knee if you can't jump over it!

But that's not the worst part! Apparently, some genius decided to add a water jump to the course. That's right, you have to jump over a barrier that's attached to a tub of water!

And if you think the men's event was interesting, the best is yet to come! Check out the women's 3000m steeplechase qualifying event. Did someone say shoe sale!?!

And check out the crash and burn at the water jump! Out of my way bitch! It's like George Clooney is waiting at the finish line with a truckload of Manolo Blahniks and Ferragamos, wearing nothing but the gold medal around his Olympic torch.

(Look at pile up in the right corner. Ouch!)

And then there's my favorite guilty pleasure event of all. Girls! Girls! Girls! on Trampolines!

That's right ladies and gentlemen, girls on trampolines.

It's an actual Olympic event!

And they had a spectacular qualifying event on Saturday in China, Aug 16th.

But don't think it's all fun and games. Sometimes, an athlete can miss a landing and bounce into some serious hurt!

Of course, was there any doubt China and Russia would make it?

But fear not ladies (and certain gentlemen)! There's a men's trampoline event as well!

Check 'em out.

This dude shows us why it's such a fun event.

How about these dudes flying high?

Check out superman!

Of course, the Chinese and the Russians advance to the finals. Still, I can't help but be excited about watching the finals. Just think! If girls on trampoline is an Olympic sport, then I can't wait for the London games! Surely that's when the Wet T shirt contest and women's mud wrestling will make a rousing debut!


  1. That shoe sale comment about the womens steeplechase was just priceless!

  2. You know, I watched the Mens Trampoline event as we had a Danish man competing. Peter Jensen who unfortunately finished 10th.

    Still when I heard about Dongdong all I could think was "too many jokes, comedy overload". I had myself a little giggle.

    You should have showed our guy.

    The steeplechase looks insane, I've never heard of that as an olympic discipline before. But definately been there, done that at the Illum Summer Sale.

  3. Great post and agreed with IDV about the shoe sale. I just can't get into seeing trampoline as an Olympic sport though. It cracks me up watching it.

  4. IDV, those women can run! And that crash and burn was spectacular!

    MJ, I tried to be mature, but I couldn't help laughing at some of the names...

    CP, they should add shoe sale as an Olympic event. I'm sure you'd win gold as you run over the competition, turning them into roadkill...

    ...and I went back and found a foto of Jensen just for you. His outfit adds a nice balance of color.

    Snooze, the funniest part of the women's trampoline qualifiers was the Chinese girl, considered the top in the world. She started off with an awesome routine, but then she got cocky, showed off, and right before the landing, she misses and bounces hard on the side of her ass! It was hilariously painful to hear her grunt when she landed!

  5. YAY!

    I think he looks quite good in that. The trousers are quite horrid though. I'm going to do a post about that soon.

    They'd all end up as fashion roadkill if they get under my Manolo Blahniks.

    I'm quite proud of you actually, knowing what Ferragamos are. Good lad!

  6. CP, those gymnasts were awesome!

    Years ago I dated this girl, and we went to her place first so she could change then go out to dinner. She walked into her bedroom and I heard her scream, "Ah! My Ferragamos!"

    I ran in and looked around and thought, 'I don't see any paper cranes.'

    But she was yelling at her dog who had peed on her shoes. And that's the night I learned that Ferragamos are expensive shoes.

  7. Those are some pretty funny observations. I agree with you about racewalking. it's the only event where you are prevented frem covering the distance in the fastest way possible. There used to be a standing hop long ago, and it was silly too.

    I've been posting humorous observations on my blog too. Come on over for a read.

  8. Trooper, welcome! There are definitely some funny events at the Olympics! I've just come back from visiting your two blogs. It appears one is a screenplay!

    All I know is if I was competing in the 20km walk, I'd've either gotten a cramp then fall out or kicked out for running and tripping out the other competitors :)

  9. In a wonderful gymnastics/funny name comparison, Canadian athlete Karen Cockburn won the silver medal.

  10. Dinah, how awesome is this? I just posted about Karen Cockburn's silver win! Not to mention Canada's athletes with intriguing names.