Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Closing Ceremonies Review

Well, the Beijing Olympics finally came to a close Sunday night. On a whole, it was a good show. But I can't help but be bothered by some of the small parts of the show that really bugged the hell out of me. I thought the Opening Ceremonies was much better, but I wonder if it's because the Closing Ceremonies is just depressing because it means it's all over.

But let's talk about the stuff that was really impressive. Once again, the Chinese put on a great performance! What about those huge cheese wheels in the skies?

And how about that human torch!

No, not that human torch,

This human torch! All those people running up and down and flailing and dancing, making intricate patterns! What a masterpiece!

I totally dug how they ran up those large lengths of cloths to make a beautiful flower! And how awesome were those athletes when they all took to the fields to mingle and celebrate together! They looked like they were having so much fun. What a colorful and spectacular ending to the games!

And now, let's talk about the few things that irked the hell out of me...

First of all, who the hell decided to put Leona Lewis and that guitarist in the show, and thought it was a great idea? Because, really, they could've just cut them out and the show would've been so much better. The song just didn't fit the atmosphere, and the whole guitar playing thing was just, eh, not all that great.

What was the point of having David Beckham? Really? They couldn't find another Olympic athlete from Great Britain to represent them at the Closing Ceremonies? I mean, does Bekcham still play for the UK? Last I heard, he was playing for L.A., but apparently, the L.A. soccer team still sucks. Still, I don't recall Great Britain sending over a soccer team for the Beijing Olympics...then again, if they did, I sure didn't hear about Beckham playing on it.

And what the hell was Leona Lewis wearing? Which drag queen did she steal that outfit from? And more importantly, why wasn't it burned in the Olympic cauldron?

Speaking of drag queens, apparently, Placido Domingo likes to sing with them. No sane woman would wear that Xmas wrapping crap with the sci fi collar!

It's like the top entertainers dropped the baton in the heats, and these losers were left to compete in the finals! But the most disturbing thing of all had to be those damned interpretive dancers! For gawd's sake, who the hell hired these people? Who thought it was a great idea? And why weren't the Chinese police beating them down like Tibetan protesters?

Listen up, London (and Vancouver), there should be no interpretive dancers at the ceremonies! Unless they're being shot out of a canon, interpretive dancers should be banned from all Olympic ceremonies. God knows they're not as entertaining or attractive as the rhythmic gymnasts or synchronized swimmers. For gawd's sake, those dancers are a terrible distraction and look stupid writhing around the stage, making everyone else feel uncomfortable. If I were a volunteer at the Beijing Olympics, I'd've pelted those interpretive dancers with bottled water til they fell off the bus and had to be stretchered out of the stadium!


  1. Beckham seemed a little awkward up there. Like someone knocked him out and he woke up on the platform.

  2. I wholeheartedly agree with you on most of the bad stuff you mentioned. I thought I accidently switched over and was watching some christmas special with all that tinsel and those bells.

    I also hated Leona Lewis and her outfit. Bleugh so overrated but oh well.

    Loved the dancing bit from the Brits

  3. Tara, that's so true. And to make it worse, everyone else on top of the bus was dressed up, and he wore a jogging suit!

    CP, when I saw those stupid interpretive dancers writhing annoyingly on the bus, I didn't know which was worse, them dancing or the terrible song Leona Lewis was singing. I don't think they rehearsed at all; you can tell because the acoustics were horrible!

  4. I thought that the worst thing was that there wasn't a huge fuss, suddenly the Olympic Flame was just turned off.

    Or did I miss something? It seemed very anti climactic

    They should have booked Kylie to perform. No closing has ever been as good as the Sydney one.

  5. CP, it was kind of anti climatic how the flame just flickered, flickered, then died. It would've been so much better if they put it out with a giant water hose!

    I think that the London people chose their own performers, and the Chinese just gave them a time slot to fill. You can tell that the Leona Lewis performance just didn't gel with the rest of the ceremonies...as was that Placido Domingo performance.

    Who the hell booked him!?! Because when I think Olympics, an opera singer just isn't the first thing that jumps to my mind.

  6. I don't think Leona Lewis or miss tinsel either when I think Olympics.

    They could have done something spectacular to turn it off. A massive water hose would have been kool that's for sure

  7. Beast, I'm sure someone will be posting scenes on youtube. But, I think you're lucky the next summer games are coming your way.

    CP, maybe they'll do a better job of incorporating acts in London. And they might just surprise us with how they're going to deal with the Olympic flame.

  8. I want to see the interpretive dance!

  9. No, you don't Snooze. No, you don't...unless you were planning on pelting them with bottled water as well...