Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Say Good Bye

I've just gotten back from sending off one of the most precious items I've ever had in my possession, The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts. I spent about an hour driving around trying to find the mailing place, and my manliness was particularly strong today, as I refused to stop and ask for directions. Earlier, I took a brief glance on the map, the address of the mailing place memorized, I set off to find this place that was suppose to be only ten minutes away.

Somehow, I think that my subconscious was trying to get me just a little more time with the Shorts before I say good bye. After telling myself that the universe was saying that maybe, just maybe I needed a little more time with the Shorts, I turned around and came back home. And wouldn't you know it, a genuine United States Post Office was right near the corner, about 5 minutes away from where I'm staying. It wasn't the mailing place I was searching for, but it was there, right where I least expected. I sighed, realizing that the universe has given me a sign. I've had my time with the Shorts, and now like a beautiful, sensuous instrument I've played til I've peaked and exhausted my inspiration, I must let her go to be played by another gifted musician, ready to gently coax out hauntingly beautiful, evocative, magical music.

And so, standing in the back of the long line, trying not to cry in front of all those other customers, I held on to that precious package. The wonderful times I've spent with the Shorts flashed in my mind, and suddenly, I was at the counter too quickly. Looking forlorn, trying not to burst into tears, I almost choked as the clerk asked, "How much are the contents of the package worth?" I almost blurted out, "Priceless", but I summoned my courage, and like an emotionally stunted man, I filled out the paperwork, and said as little as possible, putting on a mask of stoicism. The clerk, so wonderful and somehow understanding, looked upon me with kind eyes and whispered softly, "We'll take very good care of your package, and make sure it gets where it's suppose to go." I nodded, grateful, but felt stifled, so I exited the building as quickly as I could.

I got in the car, started the engine, and made a stop at a liquor store to buy some much needed items. I'm going to need this whole bottle of Vodka to drown my sorrows. Though, I have hope and am glad that the Shorts are on their way to a better place, to a spectacular, and utterly wonderful person, I'm still feeling a little sad. A little time spent moping and drinking, and I do believe I shall eventually be fine. Until then, I'm going to do a little self therapy...


  1. YAY! FIRST!

    Sniff, sniff, Thast's beautiful man just beautiful.

    *wipes away a tear*

    How's the hangover after a bottle of vodka?

  2. Tatas, funny you should ask...It'll be answered in my next post...due tomorrow...after work. Seriously ;)

  3. I've really got to stop freaking you out with reading your mind before you can do any posting. That's the second or third time I've done that now.

  4. No amount of liquor will wash away your pining for The Shorts.

    Believe me. I've been there.

    If drinking don't kill me, their memory will.

  5. Soft cunt.

    Not you MJ.

  6. Yes I'm sure your package is quite priceless YNF

    Now may we see it please?

    What local trinket did you get for Tatas?

  7. Cyberpete: He isn't going to tell you so you'll have to wait until the post comes and then I'll let you know.

    *Is it a signed photo with the shorts*

  8. Possibly full monty swinging the shorts around his index finger I'm sure

  9. Tatas: If you can do a fake Jamaican accent and get some Tarot Cards, I do believe you've got the makings of a late night tv infomercial...

    MJ: I'm afraid I've been too busy drinking the alcohol to do any wash with them...

    Convict: I do like the soft ones...hell, even the hardcore ones...I like 'em all...

    CP: As soon as I get enough postage, I'll send my package on a world wide tour...

    Tatas: I've sent a little something something just for your to enjoy ;)

  10. Eros: I have the Tarot cards and I can do a great Jamaican accent.

    I'm sure I'll enjoy your gift. Thank you very much.

  11. Tatas: You're welcome!

    MJ: I can't wait to see her infomercials!

  12. P.S. MJ, maybe she'll do a tarot reading in the Shorts!