Over lunch with a good friend today, the topic of lawn care came up. Now my friend has a great looking lawn. He's invested a significant amount of money and manpower into growing a well manicured, thriving lawn. He's even won a few gardening awards and his lawn's been in the newspaper and a few magazines. But as much as he brags about his lawn, he also complains equally about all the work and time it takes.
Growing up, I've always hated mowing the lawn. The only chore worse than mowing the lawn was feeding the hogs. I never understood the need to cut grass; it's not like it grows up any more than a few inches. It seems such a waste to spend all that time and work watering, tilling, fertilizing to make grass grow, then turn around and cut it all back down! What a waste of time and money! And I'm not a big fan of those golf course lawns either. I like my grass soft and natural looking, not carpet looking.
I wonder sometimes what kind of lawn I'd like to have should I ever venture out to buy a home. I know I won't like mowing the lawn; maybe I'll get a goat to eat the lawn. Of course, that means I'll probably have to pick up after the goat. Perhaps I'll put in a rock lawn instead. Or maybe I should get some Astroturf and just hose down the fake lawn when it gets dirty. Better yet, why not pay someone else to cut the lawn for me? Thankfully, I don't have to worry about lawn care right now. The apt staff does a great job of maintenance on the grass and trees and shrubs. At this point, the only grass I'd like to work on is the kind that hangs on the hips of a dancing Polynesian girl.
How about a spray-on lawn?
ReplyDeleteI always wanted one of those ride on mowers , you could pimp it and be the coolest gardener on the block
ReplyDeleteThe garden is actually the main reason why I never want to own a house. I'd buy a flat but not a house. Unless of course I win way more money that I could ever spend. Then I'd hire someone to take care of it for me.
ReplyDeleteMJ, it might just be worth expanding the hole in the ozone layer using all those spray paints to create my lawn. With so many colors, why I can recreate the Last Supper on my front lawn!
ReplyDeleteBeast, I can't afford those really nice riding lawnmowers, much less the gas it takes to operate them. I'm thinking the goat is a cheaper option, and I can use it's milk to make cheese.
CP, I hate house maintenance. Putting in a new roof and floors is a lot of work! And if the heating/AC or plumbing breaks down, it's really expensive! Apt living has spoiled me, as I've relied on the apt staff to fix and maintain my apt and surroundings.
I would rent a lawn simply to have some hot teenage boy mow it in the summer. Hot, shirtless guy.
ReplyDeleteI love my maintenance staff. I still think about getting a house nearby from time-to-time, but then I realized that the only maintenance would be me. When I was a kid, I hated mowing the lawn and also helping my mom pull weeds and trim hedges.
ReplyDeleteWe were talking about the crisis in the US yesterday. My boss then told me that if you own a mortgaged house and you can't afford it anymore, you can just hand over the key at any time and that's that.
ReplyDeleteIs that correct?
Hardly seems fair, but on the other hand it's like that with the way most cars are financed here.
Now you see why I paved and stoned my garden :-)
ReplyDeleteSnooze, do you live on Wisteria Lane? I think you've tapped into a new business venture!
ReplyDeleteTara, hear! hear! for the great maintenance staff! For me, this is the closest to hiring my own staff to wait on me hand and foot.
I hated pulling weeds also! I didn't like wearing gloves because they felt hot and I couldn't always get a good grip, but using my bare hands hurt afterward.
CP, it's not necessarily like that. If you can't afford your mortgage, then you either try to refinance for affordable terms--by say, extending your loan from 15 years to 20 or more years. Or you can file for bankruptcy leading to foreclosure, losing your home, damaging your credit line, and have serious trouble buying a future home or even renting an apt or getting a job! The problem with foreclosure is that it brings down the property values in the entire neighborhood!
America's current economy is so reliant on credit! In the last 8 years, the economic policies have loosen banking regulations, and no new investments were made in creating new jobs or infrastructure. The only sector that was booming was the housing market! Everyone kept buying homes and soon the values of the houses were going up. That caused more people to buy homes as investment--hoping to resell them for a higher price in a few months.
Soon, people who couldn't really afford bigger homes were lured by new types of loans that promised low rates the first two years, then an increase for the rest of the loan years. Unfortunately, some people didn't realize just how expensive that can get, and too many banks were handing out loans, thinking that the housing market would go on indefinitely.
Well, guess what? There is now an oversupply of homes, no new jobs, the rates have gone up on the loans, and people can't afford to pay on their mortgages! Unemployment keeps going up, and the banks are now saddled with assets (homes) that are decreasing dramatically in value. This means there's less revenue coming in, and there have been huge losses! Thus, leading to the credit crunch the US is in right now. The big financial giants who bet on the housing market have lost big time! Now, the banks are refusing to hand out any more loans for fear that they'll be unable to stay in business and recoup some losses. Now, people can't get student loans for college, or new cars, or even new homes, even if they can afford it or have great credit scores. And credit scores have become a significant part of American's lives because we rely on credit.
The hope is that the bill proposed in Congress will help stabilize the markets, ease the credit freeze, and keep the economy from getting much worse. The economy will take a turn for the worse, but the hope is to keep the damage to a minimum. One idea in the bill is to rework some of those loans so people can stay in their homes and make affordable payments, preventing foreclosure.
Sorry for the long speech :)
Beast, I do like paved stones and patios! Easy to maintain! No sprinkler system required.
I'm with Snooze on having a shirtless gardener.
ReplyDeleteWhich brings me on to the point I was going to make: You should definitely have a lawn when you grow up, otherwise, you'll be depriving your whole neighbourhood of seeing *you* mowing your lawn, shirtless!
IVD makes a good point.
ReplyDeleteTAKE IT OFF, BABY, YEAH!
IDV, the neighborhood sees me shirtless enough as I go for a jog or check the mail or sweep the porch, etc. It's still too hot to wear a shirt (and pants indoors).
ReplyDeleteMJ, I take it off as much as I can...in the privacy of my own home. And for goodness sake, it's a little risky mowing the lawn shirtless! God forbid the mower hits a pebble that flies off and hits a nipple! Ouch!
I love your explanation! Thanks so much.
ReplyDeleteIf I could get Jesse Metcalfe in a speedo doing my garden. That would work.
CP, I'm sure he'd luv to come over to water your mystery plant. But watch out for backstabbing housewives!
ReplyDeleteI'm not afraid of them. They seemed to have lost a lot of their sassyness over the past 5 years.
ReplyDeleteTrue, you could probably out run them; they could fall and break a hip!
ReplyDelete