Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Pearls of Wisdom

Eros Den offers some advice, life lessons from experience, for your pleasure, to make your special day more enjoyable and a memorable one. Hopefully, these pearls of wisdom will lead to a beautiful experience, perhaps even a wonderful gift, like a pearl necklace.

1. Some Like It Hot:
Candles are a great way to set the mood. Some come in wonderful scents. Lavender always puts everyone at ease. But, be careful that you don't cause a fire.
Dripping small amounts of wax is fine and titillating when done on the arms, chest, shoulders, legs, back, or buttocks, but NOT directly on the family jewels or chesticles. It really hurts--and not in the good way; it can also cause blisters :(
If you accidentally spill wax on the rug, no worries. Just grab some plain white paper, place it over the dried wax, then apply an iron on low heat gently on the paper for a short while until the melted wax is absorbed into the paper. Remove iron before it burns rug and discard paper.

2. Water Sports:
To Pee or Not to Pee, that is the question. First off, if you're not sure, then don't force yourself to participate. On the other hand, if you're feeling adventurous--or had too much to drink and now find yourself with a full bladder, a sense of laziness, and all common sense gone, then your next step is to remember the mantra of every successful business venture--location! location! location!
If it's your first time and you're nervous, the best place to be (pee, he.he.he.), is in the shower. That way, if you find yourself changing your mind about your golden shower, you can wash off the stench--but not the self disgust or shame. Otherwise, invest in rubber sheets, because even when you make waves on dirty sheets due to be washed the next day, chances are, some of the stuff will have seeped into your mattress :0 As another alternative, go to a run down motel. You won't have to worry about the linen or sleeping on the same mattress again--unless you're a returning customer taking care of your johns in the same joint. But that's another post all together.
On a related note, pee is not suppose to taste sweet; sweet pee is often a sign of hyperglycemia; contact your health care provider for diabetes testing. Also, if it burns when you pee, please see your local community health clinic for further testing; it may be helpful to have a list of current and previous partners just in case.

3. Good Eats:
Thanks to 9 1/2 Weeks, people have come to appreciate and expand the role of food in intimate activities. Just be mindful that not all appetites should be fed at the same time or by the same substances. When it comes to feasting on your partner(s), foods are the utensils, not the appetizer or main course.
Barring any allergies, the top finger lickin good food to serve on your partner is low fat whipped cream. Sweet and less sticky than regular whipped cream, it leaves less of a mess on the bed. The second best is honey. Sweet but somewhat stickier, it also works as an antiseptic and promotes healing. Maple syrup, while ambrosia on pancakes and waffles, is very sticky and messy; not to mention that if not cleaned up within 24hours, it becomes a haven for bacteria and fungi and mold to grow. Talk about a mood killer.
No chocolates--they melt and stain everything and the smears can resemble poop. No lollipops or hard candy--they tend to pick up hairs like a lint brush, and you'll end up licking a rug--carpeting, not Portia de Rossi. Altoids can provide a fun stimulating oral experience, but make sure it's completely melted in your mouth before engaging your partner--you may be tempted to chew if there is a little piece left and that is NOT a good thing. The same goes for hot peppers; a very little goes a long way. Too much can cause a serious burn :(

4. Down Under
Be gentle; no teeth; keep one hand on your partner's thigh, in case things get intense. You might need an escape route or breath of air when things get really tight! Listen to what your partner says; pay closer attention to how their body reacts.

5. The Ties That Bind
Bondage can be fun if done the right way. Always have an agreed upon safe word, like Smurf, when you need a break or things get too intense. Ropes can leave burns. Handcuffs are cold and can cut off circulation. Silk ties or scarfs are just as strong as ropes or cuffs without leaving any marks at all. No awkward questions or suicide interventions about how you cut your wrists or how those rope burns ended up on your neck. Also, silk feels cool and soft in the rough but invigorating experience. You don't have to worry about misplacing the keys...just your trust. After all, bondage is really about trust--in another human being to keep you from harm--and freedom--to let go of all choices and worries and thought, to just be.

There you have it. Little bits of advice from Eros Den. I hope you've learned something that can be of use to you. Feel free to add your own advice in the comments sections. A helping hand (or two ;) is always welcomed. Remember to have fun and be safe. As the most famous Canadian (possibly world famous) sex goddess Sue Johanson once said, "Don't be a fool, cover your tool!"

Happy Valentine's Day to All!!!


  1. Go Sue!

    Now I hope you're going to be our Valentine and post pics of your bare bottom tomorrow.

  2. Luv that Sue Jo! Happy Valentine's Day, MJ!

    Well, my bottom is bare as I'm typing this ;)

  3. Happy Valentines!

    That's if you can hear me, what with being tied down with cake stuffed in your ears, a candle up your nose and wee all over your legs.

    That only leaves one area of opportunity...
    I'd better get to it before CyberPoo gets here!

  4. IDV, I'd stand up and say hello, but as you can see, I'm currently tied down and I've got something on my face that's demanding my attention ;)

  5. Very informative

    IDV you can have him, I've got someone already ;)

    Handcuffs can leave some really nasty bruises on your wrists and it's important to wear extra long sleeves. But you already covered that.

    The thing about lollies - priceless! Had me in stitches

  6. And a Happy Valentines Day to you, sweetie!

    Did you get shagged today?

  7. CP: Thanks for the tip on long sleeves...Hope you had a good Valentine's Day!

    P&T: Thanks! I can say that I had a good time ;) Hope you did, too!

  8. You'd better not be talking about Tim, CyberPoo!

  9. And I see a future topic of discussion! How to invite others over for a party! Or the proper way to punish the wayward!

  10. no no IDV although he is a hottie and I'd surely...

    have a cuppa with him

  11. Awww...CP and IDV, and the love is back!