Wednesday, October 10, 2018

The Sitter

I've been busy. I took off last week, to use up excess vacation days I've accumulated from working overtime. I had until the end of the month to use them or lose them. And I definitely wasn't going to lose them.

I usually don't use a house sitter, but one of my friends was having a family reunion on his wife's side. He happened to have his brother visiting at the same time. His place was crowded, so I offered up my place for his brother to stay in while I was gone.

My friend and his brother arrived the evening that I was leaving. I gave them a quick tour of the place. And I let them know to call me in case of emergencies. Before I left, the brother asked if there was anything he could do to help out around the place while I was gone.

I said, "Nothing important. But if you have a few minutes, you could look after my plants."

I pointed at the three colorful mixture of flowering plants adorning my living room--a blooming cactus, some vibrant orchids, and some bright yellow mums. I said, "I usually dust them once a week."

The brother raised an eyebrow and said, "You mean water them once a week?"

I said, "No, just dust them with this duster," and pointed out the duster and continued, "These plants are fake, plastic ones. If they get really dusty, I rinse them under the tap and dry them outside."

My friend asked, "Why do you have fake plants?"

I said, "Because they look good and I can't grow plants. Anyway, real or fake, flowers are lovely to look, and they make me happy when I see them in all their wonderful varieties. They are nature's wonders! Just like boobs, real or fake, big or small, I love looking at their glorious shapes and sizes. They are nature's gifts!"

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Be good to your boobs. Check for lumps and bumps and see your healthcare provider for any questions or concerns.

11 comments:

  1. I've been wondering where you have been. I though tell me dear Eros didn't also disappear into the black hole at the Informanaic.

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    1. Maddie, Human Resources let me know that I had five vacation days that I needed to use or cash in by the end of the month. I decided to use them. I had a plan to visit some place exotic and have an adventure.

      But life has a way of getting in the way of plans. Still had a good time though. I'm holding on to those good memories as I prepare to slug it out this week. My boss begged me to come in early and work this weekend. I've got staff out sick. It's a six day work week for me! More vacation time to accumulate.

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  2. Thank you for raising awareness! All blooms need excellent scaffolding and support, I am just saying :-)
    Good to see you back!
    Sx

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    1. Scarlet, Thanks! And I agree: Cherish those blossoms and bosoms!

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  3. Enter the fake plants into the Infomaniac Gardening Compo!

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    1. LX, Ha! I could probably win if there was a most clean plants category!

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  4. Through their evolution from raisins to grapefruits, I have always taken care of my boobs. I have, however, killed a five foot fake ficus.

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    1. Deedles, Ha! I've killed three cacti and two aloes in one month. No one told me that they needed water only once or twice a week. I watered them daily. And when they got brown, I thought they were thirsty, so I watered twice a day. Turned out, they turned brown because they were drowning! At least that's what the plant seller told me after I had killed the unkillable plants.

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    2. Ah, a fellow purple thumb! Plants have been known to yell to people outside of my car to call 9-1-1 as I take them home. Some just commit suicide on the way. The fake ones die from neglect, it just takes a little longer.
      Thanks for the heads up on the cacti. I now know what I did wrong with the two I killed.

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  5. Absolutely true on all counts! xoxo

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    1. Savannah, One of these days, I'll successfully grow a plant. But until then, I'll keep dusting the fake ones.

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