Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Once was enough

The lovely and scintillating Scarlet Blue asked me to do a meme on the ten experiences that I would not want to repeat. I had a hard time narrowing it down, as I've had lots of experiences that are definitely not worth repeating. In fact, some would best be forgotten, except I'd like to think that I've learned something important from them--such as, don't do that again!

I've spent about two weeks trying to make this list; I keep changing it. But for now, I'm going to post what I have so far. I'm going to share 5 of the experiences I would not want to repeat again, and I'll share the rest later this week.

So here they are, the five of the ten experiences I would rather not repeat:

1) Eating a too much.

I was at a movie matinée with some friends. There were problems with the film; it stopped three times for several minutes. The manager offered to refund our tickets and gave us coupons for free snacks. We switched our tickets for another movie and I cashed in the coupons to feast on a pound of gummi bears and a pound of chocolate covered raisins. I was in delicious candy heaven!

Later that night, I had a terrible stomach ache that kept me awake til the wee hours of the morning. I felt sick and awful and swore to myself that I would never eat again. The next day, I only stuck to sips of clear liquids. I don't remember the movie we saw, but I do remember the pain from eating too much candy, so I learned my lesson. Don't pig out on junk food at the movies.

2) Not being able to say 'No' at work.

I'm talking about my first job after college. I was so accommodating to my co workers that I started covering for some of them. None of them offered to work for me so I could take a day off. I kind of had the feeling that some of them were taking advantage of me, having me do their work for them. But I was getting paid overtime for all that extra work, and I liked the overtime.

Then I covered for three people and ended up working 11 days in a row! I didn't even realize that I was working 11 days straight until that last day, when I was excited to finally have a day off. All I did was sleep on my day off. Then it was back to work for another five days. I was feeling tired and disagreeable; I was getting burnt out. That's when I realized that I needed to say no if I wanted to have a life outside of work. Now I'm not afraid to say no at work. I work hard, so I play hard when I'm off.

3) Leaving the blinds open.

I usually leave the blinds open when I need light and close them if I want to keep out the heat or it's night time. At one apt that I lived in, I had gotten lazy and didn't close the blinds when it got dark. After taking a shower before bed, I walked towards the living room to turn off the lights and make sure the door was locked. Then I realized that the blinds were still open. As I reached up to turn the blinds close, my towel dropped, and suddenly, bright lights poured in the windows from the neighbor's car out front. I stayed there like a deer in headlights, not moving for a few seconds, shocked, until my brain finally snapped to attention and sent a message to my hand to close the blinds. I'm pretty sure the neighbors saw me nekkid.

Luckily, my lease was up at the end of the month and I moved somewhere else. Nowadays, I make sure the blinds are closed before walking around in a towel. Of course, there have been a few days when I wander around in my underwear, before I realize that the blinds are open and people passing by can see me! Those peeping bastards!

4) Seeing a married woman.

I remember the first one. Okay, when I first started seeing her, I didn't know she was married. And when I found out, I admit that I was shocked and disturbed to realize that I was seeing a married woman! I was an adulterer! In Biblical times, they stoned adulterers. Still, as dirty and ashamed as I felt, I was also having a good time. And even though a small part of me knew that it was wrong, I kept seeing her because it was fun and exciting. To be honest, that first time made it easier for me to see other married women. I didn't actively approach them, but I never refused their attentions when the mood struck me. And truthfully, it was fun for a while.

But the good times came to an end, when an angry drunk and his friends attacked me at a bar. He threw a punch, but I ducked, then I suckered punch him. His friends started throwing punches and my friends fought back. We had to flee when we heard the cops coming. I ended up with a cut on my left cheekbone, raw knuckles, and my favorite shirt was torn. I found out the next day that the angry drunk was the husband of a woman I was seeing. That's when I came to my senses. I stopped seeing her. It wasn't worth the drama and danger to fool around with a married woman. And I felt guilty about the whole thing. For the next week, I had a huge bruise on my left cheek that reminded me of my shame every time I looked in the mirror--it was like my very own scarlet letter.

5) Wearing Velcro board shorts to the beach.

I'm old school when it comes to swimming trunks. I prefer the ones that have a drawstring waistband. But I tried to get with the times and bought a new pair of Velcro fly board shorts. My mistake was not trying out the shorts before my vacation. I should've taken them out to the beach first to see how they handled in the water. Instead, I wore them out for the first time while on vacation, surfing with my brother and some friends. It was fun at first, riding some of those great waves.

Then I wiped out. And when I came up for air, it took me some time to realize that my shorts were gone! The wave had knocked the shorts off me! And while I was busy spending the next ten minutes hunting for my shorts, my board strategically placed in front of me to shield me from the public, my brother and friends were laughing out loud at my predicament. Bastards!

And that's half the list for now. I'm still working on the other half, but I'm pretty confident that I'll be able to put it up later this week. I keep changing my mind on what I wanted to list as an experience that I don't want to repeat. There have been many, but I'd like to think that I've learned from them. And hopefully, I'm a lot wiser for having them.

 Related Links:
The Boys of Summer
Brothers and Sisters 
I say again, once was enough
The Good Intentioned Samaritan
The thing about fathers
Veterans Day reflection 
Soda Pop


  1. I think you should ALWAYS keep the blinds open. And ALWAYS wear velcro shorts. Works for me.

  2. That works for me too, Scarlet.

    You don't hide flowers, and flowers are beautiful, so why should you hide yourself?

  3. Making notes...

    * Say no to velcro.

    * Eating too much married woman.

    * Leave your shorts open.

    Hope I've got that straight.

  4. Was the lost board shorts incident in any way connected to the Elf Shorts photo?

    PS: Oh Hai Miss Scarlet & Pete!

  5. oh hai xl, scarlet & peteypet!

    i'm still struggling with my list, sugar! *sigh* xoxoxo

  6. Oh man, I really want to do this meme. There are so many things that came to mind when reading this post.

    Now that I'm on the first floor of a new apartment (no balcony, did you know?), I need to keep those blinds closed during that vulnerable shower time.

  7. I would just like to add that I shall do everything in my power to encourage your wardrobe malfunctions and to have you consider an open-blind policy.

  8. Did you manage to retrieve your shorts or were you running up the beach a la Baywatch but carrying your surfboard in front of you?

    And stick to married women in open relationships. Less tendency for violence.

  9. Scarlet B, I'm trying to be energy efficient so I can't always keep the blinds open. I no longer own a pair of Velcro board shorts, and I've decided to stick to regular drawstring shorts, because they can take a serious pounding that leaves me wet and exhilarated.

    CP, I have been known to enjoy the scent and feel of a beautiful blossom--both natural and enhanced. But I've never been compared to a flower, although I've some experience in deflowering.

    Kapi, RE: notes

    *Yes, you want to use sturdy ties, not Velcro, for the full restraint effect.

    *Eating in moderation is key; be sure that you're meal is fresh and has been prepared properly.

    *If you're feeling social, open shorts are an invitation for company.

    You've done a masterful job of getting it down.

    XL, The Elf Shorts pic was done on purpose and in good fun. The board shorts incident was unintentional, at my expense, and occurred in the presence of other people on the beach! And finding my shorts wasn't made easier by my brother and friends laughing at me, drawing unwanted attention! Those bastards!

  10. Savannah, It is hard to come up with a list! It seems simple at first, but then you find all sorts of ideas popping up! I'm looking forward to your list. Everyone's list has been so interesting.

    Tara, This is a really involved meme. I thought it'd be easy, but man, I kept coming up with stuff and had to keep making changes.

    Yeah, that post shower with blinds open incident made me realize that windows not only let me see people outside, but it lets outside people see me on the inside. Now I keep the blinds close on default, unless I want a little light.

    MJ, I need a wardrobe that doesn't malfunction. It'd be very counterproductive at work if my pants came off--I'd never get any paperwork done! I don't live in a store window display, so I'm keeping the blinds closed so I can walk around in my undies without worrying about the peeping public.

    Snooze, I was trying to be cool and slick while searching for my shorts, carrying my board, hoping to keep the beach going public unaware of my situation. But my brother and friends laughing out loud and catcalling drew some unwanted attention! I say again, those bastards!

    No more married people for me--too much stress, when all I want to do is decompress!

  11. done, but ...y'all will see...xoxox

  12. Savannah, Excellent! I'm heading over to read it!

  13. are an interesting guy.
    I'm sure most people would enjoy a glimpse of your adonis-like figure but if some "kid" happened by...well I don't even want to think of how ridiculous things could get.

    "Married" women eh? If a husband has been cheated on he should at least be a man and realise that beating up the accomodator is useless...once that horse has left the barn fuggetaboutit.

    You seem to have a predeliction to exposing your swimsuit area..maybe it's a sign. HAHAHA! Hey if ya got it flaunt it.

    You know where I would hate to lose my shorts..
    I know you're thinkin' women's prison, but no, you wanna know what would be really uber-scary ..

    trudging through a swampy bajou filled with huge Snapping Turtles lookin' for wormy things to chomp

  14. Donn, Ha! Thanks.

    It's freaky when I realize that people are actually looking inside my window at what is supposed to be my private space! And they're doing it for free!

    I was freaked out when I found out about the first married one--but she and her husband saw other people! I was young and didn't know anything, and the whole experience was exciting and new and thrilling. I was open to seeing other married women. But I just realized later on that it wasn't for me.

    I don't mind losing my pants on purpose for fun. It's a whole other experience when I lose them unexpectedly!

    And it'd be so much worse to lose them in a swamp like you said--I'd be worried about gators and snakes and slugs, too!

  15. Hmmm... A lot of naked Eros. As you're so used to it, you won't mind being naked once more over the Cusp for 'Petra, will you?

  16. IDV, I don't mind for the sake of art. And I'm pretty sure the that the supernatural and otherworldly have all ready seen me (and everyone else) nekkid. I suppose it'll do for entertainment when you don't have tv/internet in the other world.

  17. I am a little alarmed at the developeing theme of public displays of nudity and over indulgence in sugary treats Mr E . As your self appionted Life coach the Beast is couselling you ignore the siren call of slavering pervs like MJ , Scarlet , IVD and Petra . That route leads to a life of disolution , shame and a Filthy Friday Eros special Instead embrace the light , wear more clothes and eat less sugar :-)

  18. I meant slathering not slavering......Doh

  19. No, I think you were right the first time Mr Beastie...

  20. Yes Miss MJ , I seem to have a spare ten minutes in my day between maruading in the international finance markets and slopping up errrrm I mean chefing in Cafe C , so I am convinced I could take on another job.....and I have so much to give
    ***gets ready to slap Miss MJ if she makes an acid comment about crabs or genital warts***

  21. Chafing in Cafe C, Beast?

    If you would launder your pants once in a while, you wouldn't have a problem with chafing.

    Not to mention crabs or genital warts.

  22. Beast, I blame those incidents on youthful indiscretion and faulty fashion.

    Scarlet, Slavering, slathering, so long as it's a good time for everyone.

    MJ, Clearly, Beast is a man of many talents.

    Beast, I'm surprised you've free time what with the work, the cafe, and the dogs you're left to handle.

    MJ, And hand washing; it's important for hygiene and necessary for proper food handling. Everyone loves a clean, critter free restaurant!