Wednesday, September 23, 2009


They came hidden in the shadows. Their vast armies crossed the unguarded borders unnoticed. By the time their invasion was discovered, they had penetrated into the most important regions, pillaging and raiding. They wield incredible strength and move fast. They carry sharp weapons. Some of their kind have burned their way across the land. Their scouts spread far and wide. They are smart, driven by their powerful queen in their conquest to expand their empire. Their strength lies in their overwhelming numbers. They cannot be stopped by physical force alone. They are too many. For every one of them struck down, another takes their place. They carry back their own dead from the battlefield.

I'm a peaceful man. I've tried to avoid conflicts. But there comes a time when even a peaceful man must take up arms to defend that peace, to fight for what is rightfully his. This enemy is fierce. They cannot be reasoned with. They do not understand. There cannot be any peace with them, we cannot coexist. They are driven by instinct to conquer and devour. War has come.

I have been fighting them for several days now, hoping to stop their onslaught. But still they come, still they survive after I've wiped out their comrades in battle after battle. I worry that they may only grow stronger. I have no choice. I fear that the only weapon strong enough to kill them is one that is poisonous to me as well. But that is a chance that I have to take, it is my hope for victory.

There is no other way to stop the march of the ants.


  1. For one horrible moment I thought you were talking about manflu germs.

  2. Scarlet B, Nope. No manflu germs, thankfully. Just found ants crawling on kitchen counter last week. Had to go out and buy ant spray to kill those nasty little buggers.

  3. Borax powder works against most ants and other bugs. Non-toxic. Sprinkle liberally in the affected area. Fire ants require AMDRO®.

  4. Check inside the cupboard under the sink, Eros. They usually come in where the pipes enter the building. You can put borax powder or the little red can ant traps there... or both!

    Ants are cool creatures but only if they don't invade your house. Did you know that ants outnumber every other species on the planet combined? I heard that on a show on the Discovery Channel one day.

    Kinda scary, isn't it?! =O

  5. *sprinkles Borax powder liberally down Beast's pants*

    Oh Hai XL!

  6. XL, Thanks for the Borax tip. For some reason, I was thought Borax was toxic. But it sounds so much better than using ant spray. I got bit by fire ants while living on the East Coast. That hurt! They all bite at the same time!

    Ponita, Thanks for the tip about under the cupboards and pipes in the wall. I'll definitely get some Borax and use it.

    I like watching ants, but like you said, it's no fun having them in your space. That is freaky about their incredible numbers! And there're all types of deadly ants that sting or eat humans!

    MJ, Perhaps Beast should keep his banana elsewhere, so he won't get ants in his pants.

  7. Ants are facinating to watch , unless they are staggering accross your kitchen top with your breakfast donut , the theiving little tinkers.
    I wonder what ants think about

  8. Stay strong, soldier. I mean you, of course, not the soldier ants. :)

  9. Beast, The ants do look fascinating, marching about, finding food and going about their lives. It's neat to watch them carry objects bigger and heavier than them. But it sure does suck when they come inside the house!

    Tara, I will not rest until the invaders have been annihilated or repelled beyond the borders! It's kind of freaky, to think they're like Borg, driven by their queen to expand and attain.

  10. Sounds just like Miss MJ and her marauding horde or should that be mincing horde of houseboys
    Resistance is Futile

  11. To paraphrase Scarls, "for one horrible moment I thought you were talking about Mexicans"

    I read once that the weight of all the Insects on Earth equals the weight of all Humans! Eeeeew!

    Ants and their flying cousins Wasps need to be treated to the finest in Military-grade neurotoxins...and lots of it!
    Oh sure a few neighbours might lose a few pets and the odd child or spouse, but this is AMERICA dammit, and when an intruder enters your property it is your Gawd-given Manifest-destinal RIGHT to blow them away and send them back into the arms of Satan..
    who sent them there to test you in the first place!


  12. i.hate.ants.

    jes so y'all know.


  13. Try splatting them!!

  14. Beast, If it is MJ and her marauding hordes (or is it whores?), they'd be all queens and no drones!

    Donn, That is freaky! If those bugs ever unite and attack humanity, we'd be in serious trouble! It's a good thing they haven't mutated (yet) and are too busy eating each other in the food web.

    Kapi, Nope, haven't seen Phase IV, but I'll add it to the list of films to watch--luv sci fi! One of my fave bug movies is Starship Troopers. It's funny!

    Savannah, I don't like getting bitten by fire ants. That really hurts! And the welts and redness that result from those bites make me look like I ought be up in a bell tower, shouting "Sanctuary!" from the church rooftop!

    Mutley, I've tried, but there are too many of the buggers! I whacked them and dispose of their bodies, but the next day, I see more of them sneaking around! I've resorted to chemical warfare!

  15. Eww ewww ewww!

    I fought my downstairs neighbours stomping my feet to stop the noise. It worked and they moved out last weekend.

    Fight to win!

  16. I gave up in the ant battle this year. I minimized their numbers, but they were still crawling in the kitchen. My cats eat in the living room now as the cat food bowls were too much of an ant attraction. Good luck though. May you emerge victorious!

  17. CP, I hate noisy neighbors. At least the bugs are doing what nature intended for the to do. If only there was a spray can I could use to keep away awful neighbors!

    Snooze, I don't think I'll ever be able to eliminate their numbers completely, unless I soak the place with poisonous chemicals. I'm not a big fan of the Pyrrhic victory. But I do hope to reduce their numbers significantly and take up the role of predator in the food chain. That's a niche in my ecosystem that needs to be filled.