Thursday, August 9, 2018

Storm Shadow

My morning started out terrible. As I was about to drive onto the road, I saw a horrible sight. A dead cat, evidently run over by car, sprawled out in a pool of its dried blood. I was deeply upset, because it was a gray tiger striped cat. It was a familiar coat pattern and color. I feared that this was Storm Shadow, one of the strays that I have been feeding all summer. And it made me sad and feel heartbreak over the sudden, terrible loss of a friend.

I first discovered Storm Shadow at the end of spring. I was taking out trash late one night, during a lull in the rain storm. I was surprised to see movement in the darkness by the half full dumpster. Two glowing golden eyes came into view. My eyes adjusted to the darkness, and I soon made out a juvenile, gray tiger striped cat with a square face. He had one front paw up, poised and ready to bolt, but bold enough not to run away. He was cautious yet curious, and I suspected that he may have been raised by humans or used to contact with them.

I called out to him softly, not wanting to scare him. I cooed and cajoled him to follow me. And it took a while, but he followed me home, or at least hid under my car as I entered my apartment and left the door open, to see if he would come in from the restarting rain. He didn't.

I didn't have any cat food. But I did have some cans of tuna. So I popped one open, put the tuna in a pet bowl and filled the other bowl with clean water. I placed the bowls on the porch and called out to the juvenile kitty. Then I went inside, closed the door, and peeked out the kitchen window, just in time to see the little juvenile chowing down on the tuna. That made me smile. It made me happy to see the little kitty eating. He ate everything, had some water, then returned to the shadows from whence he came.

And since I first noticed him between rainstorms and in the shadows, I called him Storm Shadow, after the GI Joe ninja, because he was stealthy and bold and fast. After he ate all the tuna and had some water, he quickly darted into the darkness and disappeared.

Over the summer, a few other strays would visit my porch. When I get home from work, I clean the bowls, refill one with clean, cool water, and put food in the other. Two other strays would visit after midnight and finish the full large bowl. But Storm Shadow was a constant. Every evening, he appeared, sitting on my porch, waiting for me to refill the bowl with clean, cool water, and to fill the other bowl with food.

And I was pleased to see him grow big and strong and healthy. I liked seeing the strays thrive as I kept feeding them. It was a wonderful sight and made me happy to know that they weren't starving. And on my porch (or on top of my car), they had a safe place to rest and rejuvenate before going on their adventures or whatever secret missions they undertook in the dark mysteries of the night.

As the summer progressed, Storm Shadow got close enough to let me talk to him. Close enough to brush up my legs after eating, then disappearing into the night. It got to the point where he would calmly let me walk or stand by him, and he wouldn't budge from where he laid down, unless I had the food ready.

I still couldn't get him to come indoors. I still wasn't able to pick him up and hold him. Not yet. But that was all right. For a stray, he let me near him close enough, and he did brush up against my leg before vanishing into the shadows after eating. And that was enough.

But seeing that corpse in the road made me realize that it just wasn't enough, that I wanted more time to spend with Storm Shadow, to enjoy his calmness and independence and pleasant company. I mourned his loss, and I hoped he went quickly.

I put him out of my mind and focused on work. There were lots of necessary tasks to complete and problems to fix and projects to complete. Busy, but the company and pleasant, productive interaction with coworkers was welcomed. I found myself laughing a few times as we shares jokes and stories as we worked or took a needed break.

But in the rare, brief quiet moments between the rushes and flurry of activities, I would suddenly think of Storm Shadow, and I was saddened to realize that he was gone, like all strays, much too soon from this world. It's a hard, rough, and dangerous life for strays. I just hope Storm Shadow had some good moments in his all too brief existence, and I hoped he was in a better place now.

In the last few hours of work, I was able to accomplish a lot and found myself ahead of schedule on several projects. That made me feel good. And I was on a high from getting so much done and smoothing out the wrinkles and unexpected kinks that happen from time to time in all projects. I felt good. And I left work smiling all the way home, listening to the radio and singing along to the songs, glad for a great end to a productive work day.

Then I got to the turnoff to my home, and I was suddenly reminded of what had happened that morning, and seeing the dried blood stains on the road was a harsh reality check. I was sad again at the unexpected, awful loss of Storm Shadow. And my smile and good mood were gone. Oh, what a terrible, unfair, and horrible, vicious world we live in. Oh, how cruel and uncaring life can be. I felt melancholic and upset...right until I pulled up to park and witnessed a miracle!

Lo and behold, resting on the porch was a most welcomed and resplendent sight: Storm Shadow! He was waiting for me, as usual, to get new clean, cool water and bring out food! I was ecstatic! He was alive! Storm Shadow was alive!

So it wasn't him that was killed this morning! It was some other cat! That still made me sad, but I was just happy that my little friend was alive and well. Or maybe it was Storm Shadow, and he was now down to 8 lives. I wouldn't be surprised if he came back from the dead. He was all ready mysterious and magical when I first met him, passing from this world into the world of shadows and beyond.

It didn't matter. What was important was that he was alive and healthy and patiently waiting for me to feed him. And since it was fantastic to find him alive, I decided to give him a treat, his fave: A can of tuna!

And he ate it all, had some water, purred as he rubbed up against my legs, then took a few steps off the porch and away from the light, and he faded into the night, off to do whatever secret and mysterious and important work that cats do in the dark of night. I was just happy my little ninja friend was all right. And as I refilled the cleaned food bowl to feed the other strays whom would come later, I hope that I would see Storm Shadow return safe and sound.

I hope all my strays return safe and sound, and I hope other people show them kindness. And if my strays do leave this world, I hope and believe that they go on to some place better, a place where they will find happiness and love and contentment. I wish us all the same.

14 comments:

  1. I will have to come back and read. I got so upset by the sad news...it brought back memories of the only cat I ever had...but with a more happy ending.....

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    1. Maddie, It's always upsetting to see some poor creature killed by humans or civilization, even by accident. I love cats. Had lots of them growing up on the farm. Can't have pets now (no time, work hours crazy, and I leave town a lot), but I do enjoy pet sitting friends' pets, and I like feeding the strays. The strays are the closest I have to having pets, and I like their company.

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  2. Yes a good post and a huge heart you have. You sound like me with these fox!!! I only had one cat. I did feed a cat once, and she even followed me into the house. Buster didn't even care, he loves cats! Beautiful little gray cat. I posted about it once I think. I worried she may stay but I THINK she may have belonged to someone. I think were just sucker for cute critters.

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    1. Maddie, So true! We are suckers for cute critters! That's awesome about your little visitor! Cats are clever! Aside from the strays, I put out a bowl of food and water before leaving for work. Because that's when two pet cats from my building are waiting on the porch! An all black young cat and an older orange tiger striped cat. They know they can get a free meal in the mornings! And they're very friendly when I'm on the porch on my days off, one or the other or both the will keep me company, either rubbing against my legs or even climbing on to lay on my lap for bit, purring while I stroke them. That's when I imagine I'm some James Bond villain plotting to take over the world!

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  3. I'm so glad your Storm Shadow is okay! Perhaps the one you saw on the road was related? Good on you for caring for those cats. It is a hard life, being a stray cat. Life is harsh and short, as you have seen. Have you ever thought of trapping Storm and getting him neutered and vaccinated and then letting him go around your place again? That way, his life will be much easier and healthier, and he won't contribute to the cat overpopulation anymore. I have a friend who does just that. You get a humane trap, have it tied open with food in it, so he gets used to going in and out, and then after a few days, untie it and trap him, having made an appointment with a vet or humane society who will do the surgery. Not all vets will handle feral/unhandled cats.

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    1. Ponita, I was so happy that Storm Shadow was alive and well! Thank you for the tip. I have thought about having the strays trapped and then fixed and hopefully adopted to new homes. But I learned the hard way a few years ago, when some of our strays were trapped, they were taken to a shelter. Unfortunately, the ones that couldn't be adopted out were euthanized! Oh, we were so upset! Management got ugly letters and were raked over the coals by angry residents once we learned what happened to our friends.

      Since then, the unwritten policy is live and let live. But I may have to do some research as that was years ago, and things may have changed for the better. I just want my strays to be healthy and have long, good lives.

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    2. A lot of strays don't tame well enough to become pets, but if they are vaccinated and neutered and just returned to their area, they live out their lives but don't reproduce. (Relocating them is usually a death sentence and not at all recommended.) And finding a no kill shelter may be difficult in your area. Up here, there are lots of no kill shelters and we have groups of people who care for colonies of feral cats. In fact, the person I got Aska from does just that. She traps, neuters and returns as many adults as she can, and if she can trap kittens and tame them, they get neutered and go to a shelter to be adopted out after she has tamed them. You could be like her and help Storm Shadow live the best life he can have and still be free.

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    3. Ponita, Thanks for the helpful information. I didn't think about any strays being relocated, but it makes sense that removing them from their familiar home territory would be harmful to their survival. I have to look closely at where the city is in terms of a good stray program. I'm not turning over my strays unless they are guaranteed to be returned home healthy and unharmed.

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    4. Up here, there are vet clinics that work with the people caring for the strays/ferals. They get a couple days a week where they can make appointments for spays/neuters for a couple cats, so if they manage to trap a cat, they know they can get that cat in to get it fixed. The clinic does not keep the cat at all. It is the responsibility of the carer to pick the cat up and take it back to its area for release, usually after keeping it overnight to make sure the anaesthetic has worn off. And this doesn't happen in winter, because the shaved skin for surgery would then be exposed to freezing temps. If you went and talked to a vet and got some kind of an agreement, I am sure you could work something out with your strays.

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    5. Ponita, Thank you for the helpful advice! You've given me some things to think about and options to consider. Tonight, I was very happy to see Shadow Storm purring and tail swishing, waiting for me to get home and clean and refill the water and food bowls. Later, my other two strays visited and ate most of the food from the cleaned and refilled bowls. Then they slept for a bit on the porch with me. An hour later, they woke, stretched, then vanished together into the dark.

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  4. What a relief to find Storm Shadow waiting for you when you got home. Ponita has some good advice about the strays (if it's feasible in your area).

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    1. IDV, It was fantastic to see Storm Shadow alive and well. I was just happy all my strays are still alive and healthy. Ponita's sage advice has me taking a well informed look at my options and what can be done to keep my strays happy and healthy.

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  5. I saw a cat that had been recently run over - the image stuck with me for days, even though the cat was unknown to me. It's shocking to realise how life is so swiftly snuffed out. It makes me want to howl, for animals and humans. We're more fragile than we think.
    Sx

    P.S Pleased that your furry friend came back for another life.

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    1. It is upsetting to see poor creatures killed so horribly, even if it was an accident. And you're right, it does make us realize just how fragile we are. And I am very happy that my strays are okay and seem fine. I've been leaving some ice water for them before I go to work, to help them during the hot day while I'm away. I come home and find the water 3/4 gone. So some thirsty critters got some much needed relief.

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