Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Day 5 of the Vancouver Olympics: In and Out

16 Feb 2010, Tues. On an exciting Day 5 of the Vancouver Olympics, some athletes are in and some are out.

A switch up in the women's 10km biathlon! Magdalena Neuner of Germany wins gold, adding to her silver from the 7.5km biathlon earlier this week. Slovakia's Anastazia Kuzmina, the gold winner in the 7.5km biathlon, takes the silver this time around. Magdalena Neuner's faster skiing made all the difference in this 10km skiing and shooting race. Marie Laure Brunet of France takes the bronze.

In the men's 12.5km biathlon, Bjorn Ferry of Sweden claims gold! Austria's Christoph Sumann picks up silver; and 10km biathlon gold medalist Jay Vincent of France, takes the bronze.

In women's snowboard cross, a big disappointment for Americans. Linda Jacobellis is out! Four years ago, she showboated and lost gold at the Torino Olympics. This time, she didn't even finish the final race! She was disqualified for going outside the course. There is no redemption this time.

The race belonged to Maelle Ricker of Canada, who left the competition behind and rocketed down the course! And what an amazing win for Maelle Ricker! Four years ago at the Torino Olympics, she had a terrible crash in the snowboard cross final and was airlifted off the mountain. She was hospitalized with a concussion and lost all memory of the crash. This time, she not only gets Olympic redemption, she wins another gold for Canada! The first Canadian woman to win gold on home soil! Deborah Anthonioz of France takes the silver, Olivia Nobs of Switzerland, the bronze.

See you at the podium bitches!

In women's single luge, Tatjana Huefner and Natalie Geisenberger bring Germany the gold and bronze respectively. Austria's Nina Reithmayer takes the silver, keeping the Germans from making a clean sweep like they have in the past two Olympics.

I think I see some bulges.

Have they been tested for steroids and male sex chromosomes?

I kid! I kid! With these wins, Germany continues its dominance of the luge.

South Korea is in! Lee Sang-Hwa won the gold in the women's 500km speed skating. South Korea is becoming a speed skating powerhouse. Until this Olympics, South Korea has never won any winter medals outside of short track speed skating. Pre race fave, world record holder, Jenny Wolf of Germany took silver; while China's Wang Beixing, another pre race fave, settled for bronze. Lee Sang-Hwa's win is a complete surprise.

Speaking of surprises, when it comes to the Olympics, it's not just the athletes who catch our attention with who's in and who's out. It's also the fashion. And when it comes to Olympic fashion, some are in and some are really out there!

It would not be the Parade of Nations without the Bermuda delegation wearing their trademark Bermuda shorts!

I blame the British influence for the long, black socks. But I give Bermuda props for being crazy enough to wear shorts in freezing winter!

Ladies and Gentlemen, paisley is back in!

And so are Jackson Pollock spray painted clothing!

The McDonald's Olympic Team!

Would you like some fries with that?

The best dressed and most fashionable athletes in the Vancouver Olympics are without a doubt the Norwegian curling team.

If you can't win gold, then you can least look good!

Now let's take a look at the fashion atrocities that have marred the Vancouver Olympics. And to find the worst dressed Olympians, you have to look at figure skating, where failed and rejected designers go when they can't show at Fashion Week!

Trick or Treat!

Can't read my!
Can't read my!

No he can't read
my Pokerface!

Dude! Alexis Carrington called. She wants her clothes back!

Seriously, though, in a field full of the strongest competitors ever, there has been some serious disappointments tonight. US Champion Jeremy Abbott had a poor performance, failing to deliver the required elements in his program. He goes to the free skate program ranked 15. But the biggest let down for me was Brian Joubert of France. A former World Champion and multiple title holder, he was the best athlete to challenge returning Torino gold medalist Evgeni Plushenko when it came to doing quad jumps. He's done many of them successfully in international competitions. Unfortunately, he stumbled in his attempt and is now in 18th place, going into the free skate. I really did expect a lot from him.

The leader of the short program, with the top score of 90.85 is Evgeni Plushenko of Russia. He returned to skating just 11 months ago, and he was the only skater able to land the quad jump in the short program, giving him the lead. If he wins the gold, he will be the first men's figure skater to win back to back Olympic gold since American Dick Button did in 1948 and 1952.

I love my Bedazzler!

It's going to be a really tight race in the long program for the gold. In third place, is Japan's Daisuke Takahashi with 90.25 points, just 0.6 of a point away from the lead! Very, very close! And he didn't even need to do a quad jump in his short program! In the long program, the quad doesn't gather as many points as it does in the short program. Daisuke Takahashi put in quite the outstanding performance--full of personality and charisma, strong technically and artistically.

Evgeni Plushenko may be the most athletic skater in the competition, but he lacks the artistry and transitional elements that are required to win under the new judging system. Daisuke Takahashi, the current World Champion silver medalist, has a very real chance at winning the gold.

The Japanese have done very well in the short program, with Oda Nobunari in 4th place with 84.85 points and Takahiko Kozuka in 8th place with 79.59, still within striking distance of a medal.

In 5th place at 84.63 points is Stephane Lambiel of Switzerland, a former two time World Champion and a silver medalist at the Torino Olympics, who also came out of retirement and is the best spinner of all the skaters. American Johnny Weir is at 6th place with 82.10 points.

Gitchie, gitchie, ya ya da da
Gitchie, gitchie, ya ya here
Mocha Chocolata ya ya
Creole Lady Marmalade!

Canada's Patrick Chen is in 7th place at 81.12 points after having some problems executing some of his elements.

And it's Evan Lysacek of the US, the current World Champion, who lands in 2nd place, with 90.30, just 0.55 of a point away from the leader! He, too, didn't need a quad jump in his program! And if he keeps up the his excellent performance in the free skate long program--not miss any elements or stumble or fall--he could be the gold medal winner.

Unfortunately, Evan Lysacek is the worst dressed skater of the night. I thought he was going to be dressed by Vera Wang! What the hell, Vera? What is this crap!?!

He looks like a bird who got caught in an oil spill! Somebody fetch the soap and scrub brushes! My gawd! He looks oily! Stick to designing wedding dresses Vera Wang! 'Cause this outfit belongs on an endangered species poster!

My favorite skater of the night is 20 year old Takahiko Kozuka of Japan who's in 8th place. He did some incredible jumps and spins! And to top it all off, he skated to Bold as Love by Jimi Hendrix!

He only had one little double footed landing in an otherwise perfect performance, and those f*ckin' judges so underscored him! Meanwhile, other skaters who stumbled worse and made more mistakes were scored ahead of him! Those stuffy judges were probably biased against the music. Bastards! Any athlete who skates to Jimi Hendrix is a rock star and champion in my book! Rock on, Takahiko!!!


  1. I mark Weir high in style points!

  2. The Olympics are just an excuse for fashion faux passsss (whatever the plural of that is...) to get international coverage!

  3. the scoring system for skating seems to have thrown the baby out with the bathwater to insure "fairness" - i have stopped trying to figure out the how and just watch the skaters and enjoy their talents! btw, i saw an interview with vera wang this morning about evan lysacek's costume! she should have read your post before she said anything, sugar! xoxox

  4. Evan Lysacek looks hot! The outfit is very Brandon Flowersesque of the Killers. I like it.

    The German clowns from the other day freaked me out

  5. XL, Weir definitely stands out! I'm surprised his score was so low. But I'm hoping he'll do a quad in the long program. I just like watching him because he's very skilled when he's got it together; and it's fun how he makes the other competitors and sports commentators uncomfortable!

    MJ, They'll always be remembered for those stylish pants! Let's hope this starts a trend in future curling events!

    Ponita, Well, if you can't be be remembered for winning an Olympic medal; then you might as well be remembered for how you looked--hopefully, you looked good! Otherwise, you'll be remembered as the loser with the terrible outfit!

  6. Savannah, I was distracted by the horrible outfit! I thought he looked like a cormorant who got caught in the Exxon Valdez oil spill!

    Yeah, I don't like how they keep the judges scores anonymous--because it makes it impossible to find out which one is playing favorites or being paid off!

    CP, That outfit should be killed on sight! It's murder on the eyes!

    I think even the clowns would've been frightened at the German pairs outfit! I'm surprised the mental health facilities weren't asked if they were missing any patients! Because those outfits were insane!

    I'm just glad they won the bronze though and kept the Russians from getting on the podium!

    Snooze, If Plushenko wins, it's because he's a better athlete--I'm really disappointed no one else landed a quad! Evan and Daisuke are also very skilled skaters. Whoever wins is going to make history.

    But I'm rooting for Takahiko Kozuka to get a medal! He rocks!

  7. I've missed all the skating because they show it at the most ungodly hours here. So I can't comment on the way they skated but surely Prince called, he wants his clothes back. Really, what's that all about with tassels and such.

    Still like that one outfit though. Did you ever see that video by The Killers called Spaceman? I wish one of those guys would go out in the finale wearing that red outfit. Could be fun.

  8. CP, Set your VCR to record tonight! It's the final for mens figure skating! You know they're going to be wearing even more atrocious outfits!

    As for the tassel, Johnny Weir said when he won bronze at the US nationals, "I rocked the tassel!"

    I like him because he makes the commentators nervous. They don't know what to make of him, because he's so flamboyant and outspoken and undaunted.

    Truthfully, it irritates me the way the sports announcers always make jokes and comments about him, because they sound like they don't like him because he's so flamboyant, which is code for possibly not str8!

    Whether he is or not does not matter. Just because he's different don't mean he needs to be disrespected. That's why I like it when he makes those commentators so uncomfortable!

    As for Evan Lysacek's outfit, if I saw it outdoors, I'd shoot it and put it out of its misery!