Monday, July 7, 2008

Sink Saga

The war with the sink clog began yesterday morning. I noticed that the sink was not draining. I reached for my trusty plunger and began my assault upon the clog beast! I swung my weapon upon the monster clog and waged a battle that has not been seen in these parts since the oven cleaning back in April. Truly, the monster clog was ferocious and it tested my patience and skills. At last, after ten long minutes of intense battle, I was victorious, and the water started to drain.

Yet, before I could rest my weary arms, I noticed that the beast clog , though injured, was still alive! The water was draining, but it was slow. So reaching into my arsenal of weapons, I seized upon the magical potion of drain unclogger! I poured the potion upon the wounded beast, and I waited for the magic to unclog the drain--30 minutes of waiting, followed by a flush of hot water. The water started to drain faster then, and I took that as a sign that I had slain the monster clog.

To celebrate my victory, I feasted upon the left over bbq ribs, and potato salad, and washed it down with some screwdrivers. But my victory feast was premature, as this evening, the another monster clog emerged! Surely kin to the previously slain beast, born of the same muck in the nether regions of the kitchen drain pipes.

Once more I reached for my trusty plunger and waged war upon the clog beast! This time, the battle took longer; I was sweating and my arms were getting tired. And when I used the magic potion, it was less effective. Sure, the water started to drain again, but it was draining much slower than usual. I reached for my weapons chest and surveyed the arsenal. Perhaps it was time to use the mighty wrenches, or the enchanted pliers. Clearly, I need to take the war to the nether regions of the drain pipes, the hidden lands that spawned these monsters.

And as I sat there and plotted my invasion of drain clog demons hell world, I found myself struggling with finding the perfect weapon to destroy the enemy. And then it came to me, the most powerful weapon of all, and it wasn't in my weapons depot. In fact, it was the most powerful tool I had at my disposal.

I seized upon this weapon, wondering why I didn't use it in the first place. Pride? Perhaps. I wanted to conquer these invaders on my own. Foolishness? Maybe. For a moment, I had forgotten about my allies and those in my service. So used was I to taking on these challenges on my own.

But I grabbed that weapon firmly, and I dialed the number to management's office. Tomorrow, the knights in blue, the maintenance men, will arrive to annihilate the clog monsters. That is their job after all, to take care of these annoyances that arise in my kingdom. I've been told that they'll be using augers and snakes...Surely the soothsayers and their magic snakes can overcome the clog beasts once and for all. I just hope they don't leave too much of a mess to clean up afterwards.

As for me, they'll be other battles to fight; other invasions into my domicile to repel. The summer rains have mobilized the insect armies and I am prepared to annihilate their forces should they breach into my borders. But after today, never again will I hesitate to call upon the knights in blue to smite the enemies they've been trained (and paid) to fight and slay!


  1. I have a blockage.

    Do you and your magic snake make house calls?

  2. That fight sounds familiar, as it reminds me of the one I had with my bathroom sink drain last year. I almost thought of hiring an exorcist, but my apartment's maintenance crew came to the rescue. I now have a shrine for them set up in my livingroom.

  3. MJ, I'm catching a ride on the lube truck and bringing my snake and a bag of tools to work that clog til it's open and free flowing once more!

    Tara, thank goodness for good maintenance people. I often wonder sometimes, if I had my own place, good gawd, I'd have to mow the lawn, clean the gutters, etc. Sometimes, it's nice having someone else deal with the problems :)

  4. This is a fantastic tale of heroic resolve and intrepiditude!

    Once you've finished at MJ's, you don't fancy swinging by my way, do you. I have a monster that I'm sure you could vanquish!

  5. IDV, I'll bring an entire crew!