Of friends and lovers

One of my best friends is dating an idiot, and I don't think she knows. This guy is a big talker, brags about his Master's Degree, and thinks he's so charming. Unfortunately, he comes off more as a jackass than a prince. Today at brunch, he launched into a speech about how American troops were better prepared for the war in the Middle East desert because of Bosnia.

When I asked him to elaborate, he said, "Well, you know how hot it gets in Bosnia."

To which I asked, "How hot does Bosnia get?",

and he answered, "It's really hot there; don't you know that all those African countries are hot?"

It was at this point that I almost choked on a roll, trying to stifle laughter. My friend, blissfully unaware of her date's answers, was talking on her cellphone with a coworker. I guess people with a Master's Degree don't watch the news or know how to read a map. It's quite disturbing to learn that he is looking to get a teaching job. The scarier news is that with his Masters Degree in Physical Education, he'll double as both the P.E. and history/geography teacher. What a sad state of affairs for the all ready declining American education system.

Growing up, I've always been fortunate to have made friends with some great people. Now, when I say friend, in this context, I mean friend, not do buddy*, a friend of a different sort. Over the years, my best friends and I've been able to meet each other's significant other (or at least significant at that moment). The ones who lasted (or at the very least, were worthwhile) understood the golden law of relationships: Never come between a man (or woman) and his (or her) friends--unless mutually agreed upon by all parties, but that's another discussion entirely.

Of course, it also means that because we love our friends, we sometimes have to accept their choice of significant others--even if he turns out to be a significant idiot. This may require a therapy of drugs and alcohol, which is more enjoyable and less expensive than an actual therapist.




*do buddy: a southern US term for consenting adults often engaged in repeated, physical adult relations without social or marital obligations; aka a "friend with benefits".