Monday, October 1, 2007

Of friends and lovers

One of my best friends is dating an idiot, and I don't think she knows. This guy is a big talker, brags about his Master's Degree, and thinks he's so charming. Unfortunately, he comes off more as a jackass than a prince. Today at brunch, he launched into a speech about how American troops were better prepared for the war in the Middle East desert because of Bosnia.

When I asked him to elaborate, he said, "Well, you know how hot it gets in Bosnia."

To which I asked, "How hot does Bosnia get?",

and he answered, "It's really hot there; don't you know that all those African countries are hot?"

It was at this point that I almost choked on a roll, trying to stifle laughter. My friend, blissfully unaware of her date's answers, was talking on her cellphone with a coworker. I guess people with a Master's Degree don't watch the news or know how to read a map. It's quite disturbing to learn that he is looking to get a teaching job. The scarier news is that with his Masters Degree in Physical Education, he'll double as both the P.E. and history/geography teacher. What a sad state of affairs for the all ready declining American education system.

Growing up, I've always been fortunate to have made friends with some great people. Now, when I say friend, in this context, I mean friend, not do buddy*, a friend of a different sort. Over the years, my best friends and I've been able to meet each other's significant other (or at least significant at that moment). The ones who lasted (or at the very least, were worthwhile) understood the golden law of relationships: Never come between a man (or woman) and his (or her) friends--unless mutually agreed upon by all parties, but that's another discussion entirely.

Of course, it also means that because we love our friends, we sometimes have to accept their choice of significant others--even if he turns out to be a significant idiot. This may require a therapy of drugs and alcohol, which is more enjoyable and less expensive than an actual therapist.

*do buddy: a southern US term for consenting adults often engaged in repeated, physical adult relations without social or marital obligations; aka a "friend with benefits".


  1. Two words: smacked ass.

    Yep, those are the only two words I can think of right now. I'm sure others will come to me later today.

  2. Oh, so it's not only in the UK that PE teachers cover geography as well?
    Well, one learns something new everyday (luckily, I'd learnt where Bosnia was on a different day).

  3. The Shorts. Are they there yet?

  4. Maidy, those two words say more than enough; sometimes you get to smack ass; other times, you're on the receiving end. Either way, it can be very fun ;)

    IDV, I think it's one of the Commandments that all PE teachers shalt teach geography as well as be butch--this applies to female PE teachers as well.

    SID, the Shorts are still in transit. I will update when they clear through customs...Nice coffee cup by the way--just big enough for dunking in some big, tasty cookie.

  5. Douche!!!

    Yeah, that's another word.

    Jag off is another good couple of words.

  6. Maidy, indeed they are a couple of good words; I shall attempt to use them in my next discourse with my BFF's BF, and hope he doesn't make me barf :)

  7. I suppose the reason why PE teachers cover geography is because it's not something one uses that much.

    It's just nice to know where everything is but not super important to know where Lesotho is

  8. CP and MJ, I suppose geography is only important to map makers and travel agents; but also, it would be very important to know where Lesotho and Denmark and Canada are, in case one decides to conquer those places ;)

  9. Well, I suppose some power mad scientist may get a hankering for some cheese Danish and Canadian Ale while wearing Levi jeans made by the nimble, tiny fingers of the children in Lesotho...