Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Bad Girls

Recently, I was at a fair, when a woman sitting in a bench caught my eye. Actually, it was what she was doing that caught my attention. She was sitting with her left leg crossed over her right, her high heel shoe dangling dangerously on the tips of her toes. Had we been cats, she may have well been calling out, rubbing up against furniture, and assuming the mating position signifying estrus; and like any good tomcat, I'd've been all over her like Angelina Jolie and Portia de Rossi in a scissors position (or maybe Oprah and Rosie O'Donnell).

Feeling reckless (and slightly under the influence of alcohol), I approached her and asked if anyone else was sitting there. Ten minutes of introductions and small talk began a night full of fun. We played games at the booths, danced to live music, ate various foods and noting how good, hot, and tasty those treats were while licking our lips slowly and moaning approval. I've hung out with her a few times since, and it's been fantastic!

Though, the truth is, the more I know about her, the more excited and scared I become. She's very flirty (advertises her wares proudly), which is fun. She's free spirited (a lush prone to table dancing and intimacy in public places). And she's open to new experiences (kinky and no stranger to mind altering recreation). She's also a smoker, which is kind cool to look at from afar, and truthfully, it doesn't bother me when I'm around her. It's only when I'm home that I notice that awful stench of smoke on my clothes that bothers me.

I know that it's all fun and games now, and no plans on anything more than that. Still, she takes an awful lot of risks. And as much as I relish enacting the Kama Sutra, I'm not really the type to film myself doing these poses. The only people who should be putting out sex tapes are porn stars. I enjoy the thrills, but I know that playing with fire can cause serious burns. So why am doing this? I can't help but be attracted to her. I've always had a thing for bad girls--independent, fearless, and fun.

My friends don't like her, as they think she's a whore. I've had to set them straight and let them know in no uncertain terms that she is NOT a whore. How dare they make such an offensive assumption! I've never had to pay for it as it's been given to me freely. A tramp? Maybe, but not a whore!


  1. Why are you doing this?

    So you can post those dirty sex tapes here, and we, your loyal viewers, can become your loyal voyeurs.

    But I don't want to see any lady-bits. I've seen Knocked Up - I know what they look like!

  2. IDV, I just saw Knocked Up with some friends last night! If by some bizarre cosmic hiccup that I do film myself in action, you better believe that it will not involve a lady bit occupied with crowning. That would be totally inappropriate in the delivery room.