Ladies and Gentlemen, I officially declare the start of the The Freakin’ Green Elf Shorts Caption Competition! All are welcomed! The rules of the hunt are explained in the post below...Hit me with your best shot! ;) Go on...come and get it!!!
Despite the distance and years of waiting, Eroswings began to realise he would have to give up his desire for a secret liaison with a Blackpool Beach Donkey
It's tiny and chubby and gets so hard with touch but soon it grows up and blows with one pop
He looks with joy with a smile so coy the elf pants so stale with IDVs bodiely ale
***By the off chance I'm considered in the running for these icky pants I can't accept the dubious honour as I'm in the middle of a move and well I don't want them***
At the crack of dawn he stood wearing his ill fitted boots squeezing his fine glutes holding his hat thinking tit for tat rubbing his tackle he hears MJ cackle it loses power he needs a shower
IDV: Thank goodness for the Elf Shorts! Thought I had lost my swim trunks, but thanks to your post, I see that Daniel Craig had taken them--probably for a mission for Her Majesty's Secret Service!
with a smile so coy stripped the cowboy the water dripped from his abs so ripped his body hot he felt like a stud the shorts at display to much dismay for the audience so big they felt so sick the ocean roared his mood soared there was something arise it felt so nice his manly scent increased as he bent over and wiggled as the audience giggled IDV shouted with glee come to me but the cowboy would not IDVs advances were shot down with force as the cowboy rode his horse off into the ocean the saddle slippery with lotion the audience cheered miss Mangle leered IDV found the shorts on the beach left there for him to reach he sniffed the cowboys essence but he learned his lessons the shorts were tainted and with vaginal fluids painted but as IDV fainted the cowboy came back put IDV in a sack and sold him into white slavery his future life very unsavory the cowboy live on to marry a fireman named Roy the lived happiely ever after while IDV spent his life serving his master
CP: Ah, the new Hans Christian Andersen has arrived...Your tales are best read at bedtime--with some tissue and lotion nearby ;)
IDV: I agree, CP has written his best work yet! It's like a screenplay for the next blockbuster (porn) film, "The Pirates of the Caribbean: Elf Shorts on man's end".
Andi: Glad that you're happy. The feel of these Shorts do induce a very happy feeling ;) You picked a winner when you bought this baby!
Chicka: I think it would be great to have an elf in one's pants...better yet, a dwarf, in case one has to battle the dark forces of Mordor--or look for cleaning products under the sink.
JP: Welcome! I am thrilled to take part in the Great Shorts Odyssey you and Andi started! Since leaving your home, these Shorts have touched more strangers than a doctor in a STD clinic...No antibiotic exists to conquer the power that has arisen from the various mixtures of previous winners' contributions ;)
And a hearty congratulations to all our captioners and commentators. Midnight Monday will be the deadline to submit your entries--to submit under the power of The Shorts. Best of luck to all! I've enjoyed laughing out loud at the entries so far...Y'all rock!!!
Them elf shorts they don't fit, He needs to use them to cover his bits. He holds on to his hat as the wind picks up, For hours he'll be getting sand out from his butt.
SID: Kids eventually have to learn the world can be a cold, harsh place; other times, it can be full of surprises; for instance, whale poop makes good perfume...
Steve: Such fine poetry. I haven't read such scintillating writing since the last time I was at a public restroom and read the intriguing limericks on the wall.
Tatas: You must be psychic! I was actually contemplating laying down on the sand, but didn't want those hard grains getting into those deep, hard to reach crevices ;)
Billy Ray Cyrus regrets betting his latest song will be a worldwide smash.
ReplyDeleteBrokeback Beach!
ReplyDeleteComment: Hats off to the latest FGES pose.
ReplyDeleteHat! I said hat!!
I don't think Kylie had this in mind when she sang 'Cowboy Style'.
ReplyDeleteErosWings brings his crabs to the beach for a day out.
ReplyDeleteJust as an observation, look at how desperate IDV is to get them back again. He's like Gollum lusting over the one ring…
ReplyDeleteI heard IVD lusted over many rings.
ReplyDeleteIDV you get props for the Kylie comment - not everyone knows that song
ReplyDeleteDespite the distance and years of waiting, Eroswings began to realise he would have to give up his desire for a secret liaison with a Blackpool Beach Donkey
ReplyDeleteYNF poses for the new Marlborough boot ad
ReplyDeletebecause he's worth it
It's tiny and chubby
ReplyDeleteand gets so hard with touch
but soon it grows up
and blows with one pop
He looks with joy
with a smile so coy
the elf pants so stale
with IDVs bodiely ale
***By the off chance I'm considered in the running for these icky pants I can't accept the dubious honour as I'm in the middle of a move and well I don't want them***
'Looking butch was a bit difficult for Cassidy after his rent boy, The Sundance Kid, scarpered with his clothes.'
ReplyDeleteAnd, thanks for the props, CyberPoof. I assume they're equivalent to snaps?
'Muscle Beach had never looked so gay!'
ReplyDelete* ignores Tim and SID *
'The other members of The Village People had long gone by the time the Cowboy (and his member) had dug himself out of the sand.'
ReplyDelete'YMCA TFGES'
ReplyDeleteOK: Young Man Cums All-over The Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.
Mmmmm... That half-smile from under the hat is just so sexy...
ReplyDeleteShit! Did I say that out loud?!
Bugger.
And that wasn't a caption.
"Bugger"
ReplyDeleteor
"Of all the beaches in all the world, the only thing I found to cover my embarrasingly small cock was a washed up pair of Robinson Crusoe's shorts"
The Naked Cowboy’s fears of being replaced by a hot, young, up-start, Elf Shorts-clad buckaroo are realized.
ReplyDeletewyndham: Excellent first shot! Welcome!
ReplyDelete*starts playing Achy Breaky Heart*
SID: Great job! I've been told I can be quite an ass...or was it mule?
IDV: So many hilarious entries...I've been laughing out so much. Super job! The Muses must be working overtime!
Tim: Welcome! Once you've had The Shorts in your grasp, it's hard to resist the power of the precious...
CP: You talented, bard, you know you want The Shorts...Danish Queens and denial..."The lady doth protest too much, methinks".
P&T: Awesome!
*wonders, where is that man Friday?*
MJ: ;)
*Must get lessons on playing with my instrument in the nude, in public.*
Don't squat with your spurs on.
ReplyDeletePlease do!
ReplyDeleteBut make sure MJ's tongue is buried in your arse first.
Anyway... You ruined what was to be my section caption!
Here it is anyway.
"Friday! Oh Friday! Where are you? I have something for you!"
Piggy: You snooze, you lose.
ReplyDeleteTatas: Your cock does indeed look big in those shorts.
He's thinking, wait til they go back to MJ and she'll have to rub all the crusty bits off these shorts.
ReplyDeleteMJ: Advice duly noted.
ReplyDeleteP&T: OOPs! Well, great minds think alike!
Tatas: Welcome! At this point, the outside is the only place that doesn't have crusts from the other winners!!!
The outside is the only place that doesn't have crusts?
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be so sure of that.
*looks askance*
Snaps would be more appropiate IDV. Have you heard the album yet?
ReplyDeleteAt the crack of dawn
ReplyDeletehe stood wearing his ill fitted boots
squeezing his fine glutes
holding his hat
thinking tit for tat
rubbing his tackle
he hears MJ cackle
it loses power
he needs a shower
He works *hard* for his money
ReplyDeleteThe cover of Garth Brooks new album
ReplyDeleteShape up and slip out
MJ: Well, them be some very soft, silky crusts...mmmm....feels so good...
ReplyDeleteCP: Ha.ha...you're on a roll!
I guess you are very inspirational
ReplyDeleteespecially your
hat?
CP on a roll? A crusty roll, no doubt.
ReplyDeleteHave anyone besides IVD and CyberSlut asked for your phone number yet?
*Enter Winston Churchill*
ReplyDelete"We shall fuck them on the beaches"
*departs*
Eroswings and his WW2 renactment group were not too sure if the order was to "Storm the Normandy Beach" or "Storm Norman on the Beach"
ReplyDeleteFilming of the fake tan commercial stopped when it was pointed out to Eroswings that he should have used the last bottle from the top down.
ReplyDeleteLast war one from me. Promise!
ReplyDelete"I love the feel of polyester in the morning"
CP: Thanks;) I luv the hat as well; it's made of felt; I do enjoy the feel of beaver on my head.
ReplyDeleteMJ: Well, CP is Danish, so I suppose it makes him either full of fruity goodness or cheese...
SID: Great ones! "We have always found the Irish a bit odd. They refuse to be English. "~Winston Churchill.
Tatas: I hope you're feeling better; that MJ is a crafty one...
Hey Santa come back here!
ReplyDeleteYou forgot your pants
No caption, just...very, very nice.
ReplyDeleteMy name is Hermie and I don't want to make toys. Someday, I want to be a dentist!
ReplyDeleteNow open wide...
::hanging head in shame. Weak, I know. I'm just here for the scenery::
Like a jingle bell cowboy
ReplyDeletehe rings his bell
wiggles his bum
the water is coming
it won't be long
CP: Ho!Ho!Ho!--and I'm not calling you a whore ;)
ReplyDeleteTatas: MJ can't help it; she is Canadian, and living in the pot capital of Canada has surely affected her behavior.
Dinah: Thank you! Just trying to live up to the high standards previously set by the enchanted IDV...
Chicka: Oral hygiene is important...when the dentist is done drilling, feel free to either spit or swallow...
CP: Oh, what fun it is to ride...
Not knowing his right from his left, caused consternation to the beach goers as ErosWings attempted to remove his hat in greeting...
ReplyDeleteThe sun wasn't the only thing that rose that morning.
ReplyDeleteThe Freakin' Green Elf Shorts hung on for dear life!
IDV: Thank goodness for the Elf Shorts! Thought I had lost my swim trunks, but thanks to your post, I see that Daniel Craig had taken them--probably for a mission for Her Majesty's Secret Service!
ReplyDeletewith a smile so coy
ReplyDeletestripped the cowboy
the water dripped
from his abs so ripped
his body hot
he felt like a stud
the shorts at display
to much dismay
for the audience so big
they felt so sick
the ocean roared
his mood soared
there was something arise
it felt so nice
his manly scent
increased as he bent
over and wiggled
as the audience giggled
IDV shouted with glee
come to me
but the cowboy would not
IDVs advances were shot
down with force
as the cowboy rode his horse
off into the ocean
the saddle slippery with lotion
the audience cheered
miss Mangle leered
IDV found the shorts on the beach
left there for him to reach
he sniffed the cowboys essence
but he learned his lessons
the shorts were tainted
and with vaginal fluids painted
but as IDV fainted
the cowboy came back
put IDV in a sack
and sold him into white slavery
his future life very unsavory
the cowboy live on
to marry a fireman named Roy
the lived happiely ever after
while IDV spent his life serving his master
What A loverly story Cyberoliop.
ReplyDeleteYou win!!
OMG!
ReplyDeleteOMG!
OMG!
OMG!
Love this so much.......
Oh, am so happy right now!
Is that an elf in your pants, or are you glad to see him, Andi?
ReplyDeleteI hope penicillin can fix this.
ReplyDeleteOR
Green and red and floppy is not good!
BTW - I am Andrea's husband and the first elf shorts wearer!!
CP: Ah, the new Hans Christian Andersen has arrived...Your tales are best read at bedtime--with some tissue and lotion nearby ;)
ReplyDeleteIDV: I agree, CP has written his best work yet! It's like a screenplay for the next blockbuster (porn) film, "The Pirates of the Caribbean: Elf Shorts on man's end".
Andi: Glad that you're happy. The feel of these Shorts do induce a very happy feeling ;) You picked a winner when you bought this baby!
Chicka: I think it would be great to have an elf in one's pants...better yet, a dwarf, in case one has to battle the dark forces of Mordor--or look for cleaning products under the sink.
JP: Welcome! I am thrilled to take part in the Great Shorts Odyssey you and Andi started! Since leaving your home, these Shorts have touched more strangers than a doctor in a STD clinic...No antibiotic exists to conquer the power that has arisen from the various mixtures of previous winners' contributions ;)
And a hearty congratulations to all our captioners and commentators. Midnight Monday will be the deadline to submit your entries--to submit under the power of The Shorts. Best of luck to all! I've enjoyed laughing out loud at the entries so far...Y'all rock!!!
Why is it the only thing I can think of is, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy"?
ReplyDeleteIf I would have known about this earlier, I would have DEFINITELY put this up for Fave Foto Friday.
Fuck it, I still will.
Maidink: Ha!Ha!Ha! Thanks! Classic caption!
ReplyDeleteChildren weep as Free Willy is beached.
ReplyDeleteFree Willy? Only if you're paying by the pound!
ReplyDeleteor
You know your cock needs a fucking good wash when it starts to resemble a small handful of soggy spinach leaves!
or
And so they travel on,
Those Freakin' Green Elf Shorts.
They've travelled o'er air and sea,
To foreign parts and ports.
They've covered cock & covered minge,
They've even covered MJ's head.
We've seen them on a skinny poof, laying underneath a shed.
But Smunty the Postal Cabin Boy,
Looked by far most fetching.
This new display of skin and sand,
It's set my poor guts retching!
Ok, nice hat and cowgirl boots,
But where's the moobs and belly?
We all know thats what real men are like,
You know, fat and bald and smelly.
So anyway*, I refuse to win,
I've had them damn shorts once.
So give them to some other twat,
You bosseyed bunch of cunts!
(*Piggy's favourite word)
*bows in deference to Andi on way out*
Them elf shorts they don't fit,
ReplyDeleteHe needs to use them to cover his bits.
He holds on to his hat as the wind picks up,
For hours he'll be getting sand out from his butt.
SID: Kids eventually have to learn the world can be a cold, harsh place; other times, it can be full of surprises; for instance, whale poop makes good perfume...
ReplyDeleteSteve: Such fine poetry. I haven't read such scintillating writing since the last time I was at a public restroom and read the intriguing limericks on the wall.
Tatas: You must be psychic! I was actually contemplating laying down on the sand, but didn't want those hard grains getting into those deep, hard to reach crevices ;)
It was just a last minute thought I had and I'm glad I put it into words lol
ReplyDeleteBe afraid be very afraid I am physic.
Mwuahahahahahah
Oh for the love of fuck, I slept right through this??? Oye!
ReplyDeleteSorry I missed out on your compo, have been dealing with a fucked up illness that just doesnt want to go away.
Umm.. might I add, Nice Shorts! LOL
Could you umm.. maybe sneeze?
*is going to have great dreams tonight and the hubster might just get laid too*
*peeks under the shorts*
Nice!
Krissteen: Thanks! Hope you get better soon! I'm sure your hubster's going to be happy with what he gets ;)
ReplyDeleteThe Shorts are on their way back to England...to Tatas!