Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Terryfing Treat

Imagine my surprise--and horror--at finding out that I've won the (in)famous Green Elf Shorts. I hope that I can live up to the high standards set up the previous winners. I'm flattered (and frightened). I do have concerns about coming into contact with the Shorts that has literally touched so many, so intimately. Surely this must be some kind of public health violation. Do I really want to touch it?

I shall look into wearing protection and starting on prophylaxis antibiotics. Perhaps I should also update my will.


  1. To answer your question

    No, you don't want to touch it

    Oh and YAY I came first, oh that's not a good thing?

    Boy oh boy

  2. I hope you've got some kind of body armour? Or at the very least an anti-radiation suit?


    remember- dry cleaning doesn't kill germs.

    thought you'd want to know.

  4. You really don't want to know where they've been.

    Can you rent HazMat suits?

  5. CyberPete: Coming first is sometimes a good thing; everybody wants to be a winner! And as my good friend T says, if you missed the bus, then next time, don't take too long to get to the station.

    IDV: No hazmat suit or armor. I'm planning on checking out those full body latex suits I've seen at the local grown up shop.

    First Nations: Welcome! Thank you for the info. I shall have the Shorts boiled upon arrival, preferably outside to avoid any toxic fumes.

    MJ: So far, I've seen some MOPP gear at the local military surplus store; though, truthfully, the whole get up looks suspiciously like hardcore gas mask fetish wear.

  6. But if you get there too fast you might end up just sitting there all embarassed and bored

  7. CyberPete: You could roll over and take a nap.

  8. Wait, I thought we were talking about being early for the bus?


  9. You can still take a nap at the bus station; homeless people do it all the time. Just be sure to keep your shoes tied tight and your valuables safe.

  10. maybe we can pass them around. we can call it "THE BROTHERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING SHORTS", and each of us will experience some kind of magical sexual awakening while wearing them.

  11. I fear that some of the previous winners have already left evidence of their sexual awakenings in the Shorts...time (and a black light) will tell ;)