Wednesday, September 26, 2007

Accidental Relationship

Today, I found out from some coworkers that I'm apparently in a relationship with another coworker. Surprising news, especially to me, since I don't recall ever asking this flirtatious (and possibly delusional) woman out. What happened was that last week after work, I asked my coworkers if anyone wanted to hangout at a local karaoke bar. The majority said yes, but come 7pm that evening, only I and said woman showed up. All we did was eat our meal, had a few drinks, met up with some new people, and sang, err, listened to a couple of songs. That's it. Somehow, this meant we were going out. When did the definition of a relationship change from repeated and planned pleasurable exchange of bodily fluids to singing Cruisin as a duet?

The bigger question is, though, how do you breakup with someone you had no clue that you were dating? The truth is, I'm really bad at break ups; I usually never call the person ever again, hoping they get the hint. I've had two separate experiences where breaking up in person ended up with the cops involved after the neighbors complained about the screaming (her) and other loud noises (me ducking her fists of female fury and objects hurled at me). I'm basically a nice guy (aka coward) when it comes to ending relationships. I don't like to see the other person get hurt (and I certainly don't want to get hurt, either). No matter what, ending a relationship usually means one person ends up crying--I just hope it's not me.


  1. Sounds like your classic Dynasty dilemma.

    What you need to do is sleep with her best friend and have her walk in to the room in the middle of it

    then when she runs out crying you'll be smiling

  2. Show up on your next "date" wearing The Shorts.

    There won't be a third date.

  3. CyberPete: I don't think her best friend's wife would appreciate me making a move on her husband.

    MJ: I shall start learning the words to "Do you really want to hurt me?" when I wear the Shorts for the next "date".

  4. Bring a camera and you've got the competition picture right there

    easy peasy

  5. CyberPete, I just may bring a camera, but the truth is, I'm afraid of spending any more time with this woman. She may start picking out baby names for make believe children in our pretend relationship.

  6. oh dear...i'm sensing a definite "BOILED BUNNY" vibe from this woman.

  7. No kidding; it's like being in a long, horrible marriage--there's no sex, no talking, and I'm trying to get out of it in one piece! I'm like a magnet for psychos. If I were a squirrel, I'd be set for winter with all these nuts I keep finding!