Thursday, April 26, 2018

Name

Today, I came across a Memorandum. Not the office notice. But an actual person named Memorandum! When I first heard her introduce herself, my face remained calm and friendly, while inside, my mind slammed the brakes and I was like, Say What? Come Again? Karma Chameleon?

Then I started thinking of all the unusual names of people I've met. The ones that jump out immediately are a girl named Shondeleer (named after the glorious lighting fixture, Chandelier!); a fellow named Seven (not because he was the 7th child--he's the 2nd--but because his father was playing the Lucky 7s slot machine at the casino and hit the jackpot ($1000) the night he was born); a girl named Veranda (after her grandmother's favorite place to sit); and a guy named Tornado (you guessed it, because he was born during a tornado!).

I don't understand what possessed these parents to name their kids so. And I can't help but wonder if there should be a baby naming authority that approves or denies names parents want to give their offspring. It would certainly make life easier for the kids who don't have to be bullied or made fun of because their parents gave them strange names. And let's be honest, you have heard some silly and questionable ones over the years.

Poor Seven, people thought his name was a typo, so they kept calling him Steven and identifying him so on printed forms at meetings. Same for Veranda, who was usually rechristened Miranda. And Shondeleer always surprised people (with their own prejudices) by assuming she was Black, an African American; she's not. That girl is White! And Tornado got raised eyebrows every time he was introduced. People assumed it was a nickname from his wrestling/boxing days.

Seven is a cool name. Naturally, we nicknamed him Lucky. Not so sure about Shondeleer, but I suppose it's better than being called Sconces or Lamp. Same with Veranda, better than being identified as Covered Porch or Deck. And Tornado is an awesome name, much better than being named after other disasters like Sinkhole, Flood, Drought, or Oil Spill.

I was very curious about how Memo (as she liked to be called) got her name. But I kept my mouth shut to be polite and to be professional. Still, she must have sensed something or learned over years of experience with curious (possibly rude, nosy) people to just get it over with and tell us how she got her name. You could hear a pin drop in the silence that ensued as coworkers, pretending to work, strained to hear her explanation.

Plain and simple. Her mother worked briefly in an office, before getting married and becoming a stay at home mother at a young age. She loved the word Memorandum from her brief office days. She thought it was pretty. And her father was ok with naming her so.

After Memo left, the office was abuzz with her unusual name. A few cracked jokes. Some shared stories of other unusual names they've heard. I kept my opinions to myself. A person's name was their own. And they could always change it if the one their parents gave them doesn't quite fit.

Still, I couldn't help but wonder: Well, I suppose it could be worse. At least her mother didn't name her Facsimile, or Xerox, or Conference Call. Or worst yet, Stapler or Paper Clip or Post It.

Destiny's Child: Say My Name





14 comments:

  1. You're right about names and how we respond to them being part of our own internal prejudices/assumptions. You'd be surprised how people mangle my name! LOL I love her nickname "Memo" and how she handled the backstory. I've actually had to tell people NOT to try and shorten my name or give me some sort of nickname that was easy for them! xoxox

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    1. Savannah, I think it's essential to defer to the person's wishes on what name to call them. Clears up confusion and any hard feelings. I'm glad you tell people how to address you. Makes it easy for everyone.

      I also have a somewhat ethnic last name (at least in these parts), so when people first meet me, they are often surprised that I don't sound or look a particular way. I was born and raised in a fairly diverse and somewhat international region (lots of sailors, travelers, and traders passing though the port decide to settle down back in my small remote coast). So I didn't realize just how homogeneous or less diverse other places were until I moved out and lived in the bigger world. Some neighborhoods, I stick out for not looking like everyone else! But I don't mind. I like to think I bring flavor and variety!

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  2. Oh my goodness, this post made me laugh! I'm imaging people called Back Porch, and Oil Spill.
    My real name is boring... I'm hard to check out on the internet because there are so many of us, which I think is some kind of blessing!
    Sx

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    1. Scarlet, Some people really do have names that give us a chuckle.

      I think it is a blessing to have a common name at times. My name is pretty common, too. I may as well be John Smith in the English speaking world, Maria Garcia in the Spanish speaking world, or Candy in the exotic dancing world.

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  3. Names are funny that you hear sometimes. The oddest name I have heard were two friends of mine. One guy is named Hudson...which I actually love, and the other is Fox...and that he isn't!

    That is one thing that is fun with drag! The names. And I have named three of my closest drag friends and their career took off...so to speak. Anita Moorecock, Miriam Webster and Carmen Dioxide. And truth be told, I worked with a guy whose name was Ben Dover. He was an old poof.

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    1. Maddie, The drag names are awesome! I love them! I'm surprised Ben Dover wasn't in adult films with a name like that!

      I always pause when I hear someone named after a place. It's not so bad for guys--Phoenix, Austin, or Houston. But for girls, it's usually stage names for strippers: Paris, Brooklyn, Asia, etc.

      The most uncomfortable I've ever been with someone's name was meeting a new client, an elderly lady. As a professional courtesy, I always address them by their last name. But I swear to Gawd, this lady's last name was: KUNT!

      I was like, Do I address her the same way RuPaul uses the acroynm for Charisma Uniqueness Nerve and Talent!?! I would die if I had to call an old lady a C*nt!!!! I addressed her by Mrs. (First Name). Then I asked for clarification on how to pronounce her last name.

      Thankfully, she chuckled and said it's pronounced Coon, as in Raccoon! Then she got a wicked glint in her eyes and said, to call her by her middle name, Candy, so it was Mrs. Candy Kunt (Coon)! I about fell out the chair trying to keep a straight face! Inside, I was busting up, laughing! She was an awesome client!

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    2. Your better than I...I would have been howling with laughter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That reminds me of a stripper named Candy Samples. How one get pronounced Coon from Kunt,,,is anybody's guess. Sort of like Hyacinth Bucket getting bouquet from the name. LOL,LOL,LOL

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    3. Maddie, I barely managed to keep it together. But I pride myself on being a professional. My nearby coworker, however, had to rush out of the room, and I could hear him guffawing in the hallway as he ran out the building!

      The strange name is one of those old Germanic and European ones. Lots of them in the area. Like I learned that Koch is pronounced Coke! One of my buddies' last name is Goetz, pronounced Gets. My fave has to be the Northumberland (Scottish/English border) one: Cockburn, pronounced Coburn (silent ck). I still giggle and say Cockburn, as in a symptom of a social/venereal illness!

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  4. Seven? I immediately thought Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct to Unimatrix One (he doesn't wear skin-tight silver spandex body suits, does he?)! And then that his name was supposed to be Sven and the registrar just spelled it wrong.

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    1. IDV, I wish it was Seven of Nine! She is a most efficient worker! No, our Seven doesn't wear a skin tight bodysuit--him wearing one would be most distracting, more so than having a Borg on the team. But he has been mistakenly called Sven a few times!

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  5. My name is not unusual, but is often mistaken to be an even more common name. Which is why, when I first introduce myself to people, I always say the long form of my name (which is not at all like that other name) and say I answer to both the long and short forms. Then people tend to call me by the actual short form, instead of that other, more common and plain name. I work with a lot of people from other cultures and ethnicities so I always ask how to pronounce their name, and what they wish to be called. So I totally get this post!

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    1. Ponita, Isn't it amazing how something as small yet significant as getting a name right makes all the difference in creating a positive, productive relationship when engaging with new people?

      And like you, I've learned that it's better to ask politely up front on how to pronounce a name or what the person prefers to be called than make a guess or incorrect assumption. It's better to clear the air and start things off on the right note!

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  6. I know of a dedicated marxist who named his sons Marx and Lenin. At school they called themselves Marcus and Lenny.

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    1. Kapi, Smart kids! I'd change my name, too, if it didn't fit me. Parents need to be reminded that children are NOT billboards. They are human beings with their own thoughts and beliefs and dreams!

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