Thursday, November 5, 2009

Oceans 3, 4, 5

I was watching the news and there was a report of a widening rift in Africa, specifically in Ethiopia, that would someday in the future become an ocean. While I generally find science interesting, I was stumped when the news report mentioned that there were currently five oceans. Five? What the...? When did that happen? Did a major continental shift occur while I was sleeping?

It's like the time I found out about the food pyramid. I was in college when this girl started talking about the food pyramid. And I was thinking to myself, food pyramid? Is she talking about Egyptian foods? When the hell did they change the four food groups? Imagine my surprise when I did a little research and learned that the US Dept of Agriculture was pushing this idea of a food pyramid, instead of the four food groups.

I remember the four basic food groups--fruits and vegetables; meat and poultry and fish; grains; and dairy. Sure it wasn't perfect, I mean, I wondered why beans and nuts were in the meat group, when they really came from plants. I suppose it would've made more sense to rename the meat group as the protein group. But as imperfect as the four food groups was, I still use it. Besides, this whole food pyramid thing is still being sorted out by the government. Now they've added a set of steps and rainbow colors to the food pyramid! So until they figure out a better way to classify foods, I'm sticking with the four food groups.

I needed to find out more about these five oceans the news report mentioned. A quick google search for ocean led me to discover that the consensus is that there really is just one ocean. However, some organizations say that there are four oceans, while others say five! Other agencies still say three, which I know are the Pacific ocean, the Atlantic ocean, and the Indian ocean.

National Geographic, the magazine that publishes fotos of topless native women and nekkid people in the interests of science, says that there is a fourth ocean. It's called the Arctic ocean! Has climate change all ready melted all the ice at the top of the world?

Meanwhile, the National Ocean and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), the government weather and marine agency that tracks and names hurricanes for the US, says that there are five oceans! The fifth Ocean is the Southern Ocean. Apparently, the International Hydrographic Organization decided to draw a line around the southern parts of the Pacific, Atlantic, and Indian oceans and called that region around Antarctica the Southern Ocean.

But the hilarious thing is, while all agree that there are 3 main oceans, the traditional Pacific, Atlantic, and Indian oceans, they cannot agree on whether the Arctic and Southern oceans really are oceans! I still think that there are only 3 main oceans. The other two were just made up by some group who thinks that they speak for the rest of us! It got me thinking, who the hell put these people in charge of renaming oceans? And what gives them the right to rename these oceans?

It's like Pluto all over again. Remember when some geniuses decided to downgrade Pluto from a planet? What the hell was that all about? I mean, seriously, who said that these few jackasses can reclassify planets for the rest of us? Moreover, the majority of astronomers and planetary scientists still consider Pluto a planet, and so do I! Don't these jackasses realize the chaos they've caused by trying to deplanetize Pluto? Pluto is the ruling planet for Scorpios! It is necessary for great transformation and rebirth! Not to mention, Pluto is the god of wealth! And given the fragile state of the economy, we need all the help Pluto can give us!

34 comments:

  1. Oh there's been lots of different ways to classify foods over the decades. There's one with seven types, including leafy vegetables, grains, root vegetables, meat, fish and, erm, two others.

    One of them may have been "sugar".

    There was another in the 1920s that had "milk" in a category by itself.

    Classification of oceans depends on the politics of the time - there's only one ocean, but different bits are owned by different empires at different times. I tend to stick with Atlantic and Pacific, and ignore the others.

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  2. I'm with you on the Pluto thing brother! Each planet is unique and Pluto has that great wacky orbit. I learned it as a planet in science classes -- it's a planet! Case closed.

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  3. Kapi, I wondered where candy and jello were in the 4 food groups.

    What gets me about this new reclassification of foods is that now, the 'experts' are trying to tell us how much of which type of food to eat. As if everyone on Earth has the same dietary needs! People will eat what's available to them (and what they're not allergic to).

    I'm with you on sticking with the Atlantic and the Pacific. It's much safer. There are way too many pirates in the Indian ocean!

    XL, Let's hear it for planet Pluto! For as long as I live, I'll always refer to Pluto as a planet! Those idiots at the IAU were just jealous that an American discovered Pluto!

    Savannah, Aw, thanks! Luv you, too! And welcome home!

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  4. Sometimes, you come up with the coolest posts, Eros! This is great!

    And I agree with Kapi - there really *is* only one ocean - all the water is connected... but due to politics and all that garbage, they've divvied up the water into separate packages.

    I guess I am used to the Arctic Ocean - as I live closer to it and it's just always been mentioned (that I can remember, anyway). But the Southern Ocean? That's a new one on me...

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  5. Ponita, Thanks! Until this week, I never realized there was an Arctic Ocean and a Southern Ocean! I thought that the waters near the North Pole was the Arctic Sea.

    It is kind of silly how we divide up the ocean when it's just one huge body of water that covers the whole globe.

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  6. There are only two foods groups as far as I am concerned , things I like and things I dont . Ocean names just make it easier to work out where people are talking about , ie if someone said I am sailing accross the ocean they could be anywhere , whereas if they are sailing accross the Southern ocean or the Pacific Ocean you get a general gist , so I am all for Ocean names , I cant say I get over excited about wether some lump of rock floating around in the nether regions of space is classed as a planet or not , it will always be Pluto to us

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  7. Mr Beastie has a food mountain stashed in his larder.
    Sx

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  8. Miss Scarlet: Isn't the larder where Mr. Beastie stashes his porn?

    How can there possibly be room for food?

    As far as I'm concerned, Guinness is the major food group.

    I have a food pyramid of tins and bottles stacked up ready for the recycling bin.

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  9. Beast, I'm just surprised that there are more oceans than what I remember from school!

    Deplanetizing Pluto just ruins the mnemonic for memorizing the 9 planets in the solar system:

    Mercury
    y

    Venus
    e
    r
    y

    Earth
    x
    c
    i
    t
    e
    d

    Mars
    e
    m
    b
    e
    r

    Jupiter
    o
    y
    f
    u
    l
    l
    y

    Saturn
    l
    i
    d
    e
    s

    Uranus
    p

    Neptune
    i
    c
    e

    Pluto
    c
    a
    t
    s


    Scarlet B, Perhaps it's time we made an expedition to Beast's pantry!

    MJ, Food porn? All the more reason to head on over to Beast's! We can build another pyramid of tins and bottles out of the stuff we would eat from his food mountain.

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  10. What the hell porno mnemonic is that? I learned 'Man very early made jars stand up nearly perpendicularly' [which I guess can sound a bit porno too]

    I always thought of five oceans. I also have great respect for the Southern Ocean as I threw up everytime the ship I was working on crossed it. That is one violent body of water!

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  11. I would imagine that an ocean circulating Antarctica would be very chilly.

    I had no idea about the fifth ocean either! Thanks for schooling me! :D

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  12. I believe in the Arctic Ocean.

    By the way, I love George Clooney

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  13. Snooze, That particular mnemonic was coined in the 7th grade. I had clue about the other two oceans.

    Yikes! I bet the Southern ocean is a violent body of water! That's where whale wars take place! I don't get seasick, but I don't like the feel of a boat going through rough waters!

    Tara, Thanks. I'm sure those penguins and whales like living in those frigid waters. Yeah, I've never heard of these two oceans until a few days ago! And even now, other organizations don't recognize them! Talk about confusion for the geography class.

    CP, I had no clue about the Arctic and Southern oceans until a few days ago. I learned in school that the body of water at the North Pole was the Arctic sea (aka the Arctic Mediterranean Sea).

    George Clooney stands out. I remember him from this late 1980s sitcom called The Facts of Life, where he played a handyman!

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  14. Southern Ocean... I've never heard anything so ridiculous. Now that's like Pluto not being a proper planet anymore. They are just making stuff up now.

    You know the food pyramid is interesting. We've had it for years although ours is less rainbowy. Now they've developed the Y shape where you must divide the food up to regulate the intake of the different things from the pyramid. Like the small area in the Y is where you put the protein and the. An area for vegetables and one for grains and stuff.

    George has an old Hollywood feel like Rock Hudson. You don't see that a lot these days.

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  15. CP, Our food pyramid keeps getting remodeled! And no one still understands it, and they eat whatever they want no matter what the food pyramid says.

    George has talent, a genuine star, which is so rare these days. It seems like so many people are famous for no reason, other than being born rich and trying to hang out with real stars, and releasing sex tapes. No talent whatsoever.

    When I think of great classic Hollywood actors, I think of Yul Brynner. I remember seeing him on the movie Kings of the Sun, and he just stole every scene with his supermodel walk and charisma! That dude was cool in whatever movie role he took on!

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  16. I suppose Rock Hudson isn't the one most remember for being the Hollywood actor but more for being the gay actor who died of aids. Oh and played Heather Locklears father on Dynasty.

    The reason I remember him for his acting is his comedies with Doris Day. I love those.

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  17. CP, Rock Hudson was a great actor and he had some great films. Those were the days when real stars existed.

    Every now and then, I like to watch old films. They are fun to watch and there are some real surprises.

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  18. If we are talking classic Hollywood you cant do better than John Wayne and Errol Flyn

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  19. Beast, Both were very good actors. But one of my faves has to be Clark Gable--he could do drama and comedy. Steve McQueen was awesome! Another fave of mine still alive is Omar Sharif!

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  20. I watch more old movies than new these days. As I mentioned earlier I really like Doris Day. Although anything with singing works too. Even Easter Parade in which Fred Astaire looked like a creepy 70 year old perv trying to hook up with a 20 year old starlet. The dancing and singing won me over..

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  21. CP, Doris Day is fantastic! I rarely go to the movies. And most times, when I watch a movie, it's either at a friend's place or a cable channel, like the ones who run old classics.

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  22. We have a channel called Turner Classic Movies or TCM. I love it. Most of the old movies are watched there with no commercial breaks and when the movies are over they show interesting facts about today in Hollywood history or actors, movies, directors etc. I love it!

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  23. Mr E , I was rather put off of Clark Gable when someone told me just before we were going to watch Gone with the Wind , that he had terrible halitosis . Everytime he came near Vivien Leigh I nearly threw up , I swear to got I could taste that halitosis
    ****dry heaves***

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  24. CP, I actually do watch Turner Classic Movies! They have some really great stuff. The first time I started watching TCM was when they had a series of Hayao Miyazaki movies--Japanese animation movies. Then I started watching all the old classics. And they do share some interesting things about the stars and the films.

    Beast, The first time I saw Clark Gable was in the film It Happened One Night with the beautiful, talented Claudette Colbert. That was the funniest black and white movie I had ever seen, and I was hooked on those old classics.

    As for Gone With the Wind, I couldn't help but laugh at some of the scenes. I mean, who in the South even says Fiddle-dee-dee!?! And those slaves looked way too happy to be slaves in the South!

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  25. TCM is my crack.

    I'm addicted!

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  26. I loved TCM when I could get it - I've been deprived for the last 5 years.
    And I've also read that Clark Gable had bad breath... but I don't think he gave a damn.
    Sx

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  27. Fiddle-dee-dee.
    My new catch phrase.
    Sx

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  28. I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

    Oh Hai Miss Scarlet!

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  29. MJ, Forget Rehab! TCM is the kind of crack I'd crave everyday!

    Scarlet B x2, Ha!

    Your new catchphrase will certainly turn heads!

    XL, Ha! You and me both!

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  30. Brilliant deduction WATSON!

    There is one Ocean but hey, we love to complicate everything don't we?

    There is really one land mass for that matter but the bloody ocean covers the low parts of it.

    If the bloody Mayan Calendar is right we only have a few years to decide all of this sh*t before it's gone :)

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  31. Donn, I now know that the name for the entire ocean is

    *drum roll*

    The World Ocean! Creative, huh?

    I wonder if the Mayan calendar stopped at 2012 because their printer broke down and they got wiped out before they could fix it.

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  32. Ha! Could be. I think they said Dec 21st so at least I won't miss my last birthday on the 6th!
    Woo-HOO! par-tay.

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  33. Donn, How thoughtful of those Mayans! I guess that means there's no reason to spend all that money on Xmas presents, since there won't be one in 2012 :)

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