Thursday, June 25, 2009

Jury Duty

This past month, I've become way too close to the law. I just can't escape its long reach! Today, I checked the mail and found a jury summons. That means, come Monday, I have to get up early and go to the courthouse, to see if they will use me as a juror or not.

Every year and a half or so, I get summoned. I get up early, put on my pressed, business attire, and try to find parking near the courthouse. Then I wait for hours, along with the other jurors, as we are divided and then taken to the courtrooms for jury selection. There, the lawyers and judge decide whether or not they can use you on the jury after a series of questions. If you're lucky, it's all done by noon. But the last time, we didn't finish til 3 pm. It could be worse. I've heard other jurors who were on call for about a week!

Now, I don't mind doing my duty as a citizen, but I've never been chosen to be on a jury--some of my answers make me undesirable to either the defense or the prosecution. So I feel like I've wasted a whole day. They do pay you ten dollars for that first day, but then they make you feel guilty and push you to donate that money to some charity or other--since the gov't officials have all ready wasted money originally slated for charity. And if you're there past noon, you'll definitely want to buy lunch.

What really sucks about this summons is that I'm supposed to be off on Monday! So instead of sleeping in, flipping thru the tv channels in my underwear, then heading out to the beach, I have to get up early and dress appropriately and spend my day off in a gov't building! I've been thinking about finding a good excuse to get out of jury duty. But I don't seem to meet any of the disqualification criteria. Although, for a short while, number (4) seemed promising.

GOVERNMENT CODE SEC. 62.102 TO QUALIFY AS A JUROR YOU MUST:

(1) BE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OF AGE;
(2) BE A CITIZEN OF THE UNITED STATES, THE STATE OF TEXAS AND OF NUECES COUNTY; IF YOU CLAIM NONRESIDENT STATUS YOU MAY NO LONGER BE ELIGIBLE TO VOTE IN NUECES COUNTY.
(3) BE QUALIFIED TO VOTE IN NUECES COUNTY (BUT DO NOT NEED TO BE REGISTERED TO VOTE) ;

(4) BE OF SOUND MIND AND GOOD MORAL CHARACTER (IF NOT, MUST BE CERTIFIED BY COURT);
(5) BE ABLE TO READ AND WRITE IN ENGLISH;
(6) HAVE NOT SERVED AS A TRIAL JUROR FOR SIX DAYS DURING THE PRECEDING THREE MONTHS IN A COUNTY COURT OR DURING THE PRECEDING SIX MONTHS IN A DISTRICT COURT;
(7) HAVE NOT BEEN CONVICTED OF A FELONY;
(8) NOT BE UNDER INDICTMENT OR OTHER LEGAL ACCUSATION OF MISDEMEANOR OR FELONY THEFT OR ANY OTHER FELONY.


How would the court certify that someone doesn't have a sound mind and good moral character? You don't need a court to figure out who's crazy! I'm pretty sure that I can spot the crazies and the insane without any help.

16 comments:

  1. Just twitch a lot and everytime they ask you a question have a loud arguement with yourself about the answer . I have found whipping out a raw potato and chewing on it helps :-)

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  2. I am also a little concerned about the wisdom of having a television in your underwear and all the 'chanel flipping' going on.
    You will go blind !

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  3. Beast x2, Ha! I was thinking about carrying a flask of liquor with me to suggest that I was not reliable, but then I thought, it's probably not the best idea at a courthouse; I may end up as a defendant instead of a juror!

    The greatest show on earth can be found in my underwear. I only flip channels til I find something good and satisfying; I was going to change that sentence, but it just seems right that way ;)

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  4. Why has BEAST been to YOUR blog and not to MINE?

    Harumph.

    *flounces out without reading post*

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  5. And you can donate that ten bucks to ME!

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  6. ****pained sigh***
    Once again for the hard of hearing and the infirm
    I cannot access Infomaniac from work as it is blocked as a porn site and since I went straight from work to Cafe C for my evening shift.....
    ***wanders off muttering about heathen colonials that never listen***

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  7. MJ x2, Apparently, Beast's workplace has deemed me worthy enough for the workers to waste their time online instead of doing their work.

    I'd send you the money, but the post office discourages sending cash in the mail. But I'll think of you when I donate (spend) it.

    Beast, Ah, so your workplace has a Canadian blog filter; understandable since the Canadians unleashed Celine Dion on an unsuspecting world.

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  8. MJ, I thought you were on vacation! Clearly the houseboys are running behind on supplying you with cocktails! You should be drunk by now!

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  9. I've never been asked to be a juror - I must be on a list somewhere of Undesirable People.

    I'd like to be asked, just so I can decline with completely uncalled for rudeness and get put on the list of Undesirable People.

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  10. Kap, It's like being in a beauty pageant--we put on our finest, parade before the judges, but it's the questions that always make me a runner up ;)

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  11. I was going to say that you need to dribble and not shower... and drag a stinky duvet around with you - this is how Mr Beastie gets out of doing things... or you could do a cake fart...
    Sx

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  12. You have to audition every for a job you don't want every 18 months and only get $10. That's apalling!

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  13. Scarlet B, Given how Beast has been busy with work and kitchen duty lately, I'd say he must've washed that duvet!

    Cake is for eating, and nothing else!

    Tickers, Well, it could be worse! I could end up being picked to serve and be stuck with people I can't stand! I don't know if I can sit still and be awake for many hours of long winded arguments.

    Ten dollars is ridiculous. I'd much rather get some of the stuff they confiscate from criminals.

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  14. i live in a small town, sugar. the last time i was called i knew, the 2 attorneys, the judge, her bailiff and 3 of the other potential jurors! i was not chosen that day and now, come to think of it, i haven't been called since! ;~D xoxox

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  15. Savannah, Lucky you! You've got friends in all the right places.

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