Kids

I'm visiting friends out of town. My friends have twin boys. They're turning five today. So I'm here for the birthday party this weekend.

Prior to leaving yesterday for the four hour drive, I called my friends to let them know that I was about to hit the road. My friend answered the phone. We chatted a little before she proudly declared, "I've taught the boys how to behave like gentlemen. You'll be impressed!"

"Ok," I said.

My friend somehow took that as me not believing, "I'm telling you, they'll behave just like they do with you! You'll see!"

My friend is referring to the fact that when her kids hang out with me, they listen when I tell them to do something. They even say "Please" and "Thank You" when I talk with them. Even more surprising, the first time I babysat them, the boys were sound asleep before their parents got home.

Usually, their Mommy and Daddy tell me the boys are loud, hyperactive, and stubborn little balls of energy. It's bad enough hearing them scream and tearing through the house, knocking things over. It's even worse when they're suddenly quiet for a while, and it's not nap time; it usually means they're coloring on the walls, smearing the lipstick on the dresser mirror, or they've found the lighter for the BBQ and are playing with fire. And it's a struggle sometimes, when they cry "No" and refuse to eat veggies, pick up their toys, or get ready for bed.

So my friends are often flabbergasted to see their rowdy twins behave well with me. They swear I must have some Pied Piper power that makes their kids follow me and do what I say. It's no special power. Just knowledge gained from raising a lot of nieces and nephews and babysitting lots of kids when I was growing up.

Kids are energetic. And that's a good thing. The key is to redirect that energy to do things. It's not enough to tell them to do chores. You have to make the chores into a game, make it fun. Offer them a reward, like going to the park to play after all the work is done. Or have them pick out some fun tunes and have a dance party in the living room. Let them tire themselves out. Then it's meal time, bath time, and bed time soon after.

Music is a powerful tool. I play dance music when I'm cooking with the kids. We dance while we wait for the food to cook and while we wash dishes after. I play easy listening when I put them to sleep. And classical music when we clean house.

Once, my friend called me at work. He wanted me to know that he took his boys for their check up. As they waited to see the pediatrician, the "Blue Danube" played in the waiting area. Recognizing the tune, the boys exclaimed, "Dad! It's cleaning music!"

When their father gently tried to correct them, "Boys, it's called 'Classical' music."

One twin resolutely replied, "No, Dad; it's cleaning music."

The other added confidently, "It's the music we play when we clean Uncle's house!"

Upon hearing this response, my friend and the rest of the parents and staff in the waiting room laughed out loud. To this day, classical music is known as cleaning music to the twins. And that makes me smile. Raising kids is never quite what you expect. The lesson you hope to teach isn't always the one they learn. Sometimes, they surprise you in the most wonderful way.

My friends are stunned at my ability to get their little picky eaters to eat. To get kids to try new foods, give them a choice: Carrots or celery? If they don't like either, then introduce them to small bites along with their favorite foods. The boys loved carrots after I cut them into baby pieces and introduced them to ranch dressing. Kids really like dipping and ranch dressing. And thousand island dressing and caesar dressing. They also love melted cheese dips and spinach dips.

I got them to try celery by adding crunchy peanut butter to that celery. Kids love peanut butter. When I added raisins to the peanut butter celery and told them it was called Ants on a Log, they got a kick out of it and enjoyed it even more.

I find that if they help me in the kitchen make meals, they're more likely to eat and enjoy those meals. Kids love fried foods. It's how I got the twins to enjoy fish, shrimp, broccoli, and mushrooms. And they love helping me make desserts, like cupcakes, pies, and pudding--they get to lick the bowl and mixing spoons as a reward for their help.

And sometimes, if you show that you really like the food, kids will get curious and want to try some. That's how I shocked my friends when they saw their boys eating sashimi, mussels, and liverwurst with me on different occasions. If the food tastes great, kids will eat it.

As far as behavior goes, kids will imitate what they see. So I'm always polite and courteous when I talk to them. I say Please and Thank You and You're Welcome. I say Excuse Me and Pardon Me and May I in our conversations. Sure, I'm playful with them, but I make sure that I'm always on my best behavior. The kids will follow what I do and repeat what I say. So I make sure to set good examples and speak well in the kids' presence.

Model good behavior. Be consistent. Acknowledge, praise, and reward the kids good behavior, and they'll keep doing that good behavior. I suppose it's no different than training animals.

It's not easy to raise kids. But I'm fortunate in that I've had a lot of experience babysitting and raising little children. Babysitting and raising kids is just like any skill. The more you practice, the better you are at it. Even after I left home, I never missed a chance to babysit or help out someone look after their kids for a few hours. I like the noise and crowd and energy of small children.

Being around the babies and small kids made me feel like I was back home, looking after my many nieces and nephews. It went from feeding, burping, changing diapers, bathing, and putting babies to sleep to helping them walk, teaching them the alphabet, doing chores, helping with homework; then watching them become teens and help raise the younger ones.

Raising kids is challenging and stressful. But it's also a rewarding and wonderful experience. They grow up so fast! Too fast, it seems. It blows my mind that a few of my little nieces and nephews that I helped raise as little babies are now married with babies of their own! I wasn't even ten when I was bottle feeding them and burping them and changing their diapers. Making them laugh, comforting them when they cried, watching them grow up safely and helping them find their way in this world.

And now they're doing that with babies of their own, and it makes me so happy to see life go on, even when I'm surprised how fast time has flown. And I'm a little sad to realize that my babies are all grown up now, doing things on their own. They don't need me to watch over them and take care of them. They're adults now, not little kids or clueless teenagers, stumbling though growing pains and finding themselves. They're all grown up. Where did the time go?

Time flies. So cherish every moment you have with your loved ones. That's why I try to see my little twins whenever I can. I love taking care of them and enjoy spending time with them. I arrived after a long but safe drive. I knocked on the door. I could hear the twins shouting that they got it. They opened the door, and I was greeted with hugs and huge smiles. Then I heard their mother call out from the kitchen, "Boys, what do we say to our guests?"

The boys stood tall and the first one said with practice, "Please come in and take off your pants."

"Take off my pants!?!," I quizzed with a smile.

"Coat, baby! Take off his coat!," yelled my friend.

The first twin started again, "Please come in and take off your pants and your coat."

The second one quickly added, "And make yourself comfortable!"

They both beamed so proudly that I couldn't help but return their smiles.

I could hear my friend sigh from the kitchen. I couldn't resist laughing. Kids don't always act the way you expect them. Sometimes they surprise you and make you laugh and see that life is wonderful and funny sometimes.