As customary, after the meal, we each got a fortune cookie. Mine said:
An unexpected message will come to you that brings happiness with it.
And you know what? It's true.
Let's talk about awards. This year, the talented Tara presented the highly prized and coveted Lemonade Award. It's a recognition of blogs that take life's lemons and turn them into lemonade (or lemon meringue or, more likely, margaritas). The competition was fierce this year and many stars vied for the award.
The nominees are:*audience applause and camera close ups*
Helen Mirren as Queen Elizabeth the I and Queen Elizabeth the II
Cate Blanchett as Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Galadriel
Judi Dench as Queen Elizabeth I and Queen Victoria
And the award goes to:
*Dramatic drumming and envelope opens*
Eroswings!
*Camera zooms in on losers reactions*
What the F*ck!?! This is bullsh*t!
That c*nt! Who did he sleep with!?!
Mr. Darcy, I want you and 007 to break this muthaf*cka's knees before the after party!
I didn't have anything prepared for this momentous occasion. So let me now quote a speech that best describes my feelings:
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I'm sorry. This moment is so much bigger than me. This moment is for Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne, Diahann Carroll. It's for the women that stand beside me, Jada Pinkett, Angela Bassett, Vivica Fox. And it's for every nameless, faceless woman of color that now has a chance because this door tonight has been opened. Thank you. I'm so honored. I'm so honored~Halle Berry, Oscar speech (2002)That's right; that's exactly how I feel. *Turns towards the competition to say* In your face bitches!
Thank you, Tara! You rock!
And now, to share in the joy, I'd like to recognize other fellow bloggers who I'll now in turn award the Lemonade Award:
*
*MJ *Inexplicable DeVice
*CyberPete *Snooze
*Donn *Within Without
*Beast *Tatas
*Ponygirl *Maidink
*Snicks *Mutley
*Tickersoid
Get your acceptance speeches ready! Here is your award:
These are the bloggers who make me laugh and think and I enjoy reading them. Every one of them is creative, unique, and absolutely brilliant!
In other good news, I got a letter in the mail from my car insurance company. They're giving me a partial refund. Apparently, my driving record is excellent and my rate has actually gone down! And here I thought falling gas prices was the only good news regarding my car.
More good news on the fortune front! I got a dollar bill in the mail today. That's right. A whole dollar. Does anyone still send cash in the mail these days? Apparently, I've been chosen to take part in a survey of radio stations. They are offering me money to record what stations I listen to and for how long. It's a two week survey and they're sending me more dollar bills after I finish the survey.
Free money! It's so nice to get paid for doing something I enjoy doing for free anyway. I wonder what other free activities that I enjoy that I can get paid to do?But the best news had to be a phone call from a friend I hadn't seen in a while; we got to hang out for a few days. And it was a lot of fun catching up and hanging out. It has been a good week. It has been most fortunate.
*Blog tip: If you're using Foxfire, you might have noticed the blinking Congratulations in the post. Here are the tags you need if you use Firefox:
If you're using Internet Explorer, replace blink with marquee instead. Thanks to IDV, I experimented with marquee and I found out that it causes words to slide across the post! You can see this slide effect in IE and Firefox. Let me know if it works out for you!
I had no idea those actresses were such sore losers. Tsk. They don't have a cool blog, you do. They need to deal with it.
ReplyDeleteHm, I've never been sent a dollar bill for a survey.
I am absolutely delighted that you beat those Drama Queens.
ReplyDeleteYou have an awesome vibe here and you are totally deserving. I love this place because you blend a lot of thingamabobs, make it your own, and keep it interesting.
Thanks for the props.
Far F*ckin' Out Man.
When life hands me lemons, I suck on them.
ReplyDeleteThrilled though I am to win this coveted award (I humbly thank you), I simply cannot share an award with BEAST.
Please contact my people when this is sorted.
HA!
ReplyDeleteIgnore MJ, she is only upset that the rampant rabbit she got for her birthday was pre-owned..
I am myself deeply honoured by the whole experience. To be honest I do not buy lemons, I prefer tartare sauce with fish and and other than that I cant find any particular use for them...
Tara, Acting is a tough business! I barely escaped the hit M put out on me! But perhaps if they spent less time in make up and period costumes, they could find the time to blog, maybe about why they each feel they're the best Queen Elizabeth the I.
ReplyDeleteThe dollar for a survey thing surprised me. They said I was going to get more singles if I did it right. So this is what it feels like to be Gypsy Rose Lee!
Phoenis Rizing, Those queens about lost their heads! Luckily, those thick collars kept them in place.
Thanks for the kudos! I luv reading your posts! They are most excellent, heavy, but fun, thought provoking material.
MJ, I have contacted your people as well as sent over expensive bottles of champagne and roses. Please note that each winner receives their own award and will be allotted time for their own acceptance speech.
The academy votes has been tallied, recounted, and certified. It's official, all winners have earned their award. No evidence of voting discrepancies were found.
Mutley, Had MJ stayed for the ceremonies, she would've found a brand new rabbit in the gift bags. At the very least, the lemon juice could be used to sanitize her used rabbit.
I luv lemonade and lemon meringue pie! The margaritas are a plus, too. But I do like lemon chicken also. I never got the lemon on the fish thing either.
Your blog is fantastic and I enjoy visiting and reading your funny and heartfelt posts.
BEAST has been rimming my margarita glass!
ReplyDeleteLemons? Ah yes, those things that one finds sliced up in ones gin.
ReplyDeleteI humbly accept this prestigious award. Thank you, Eros. now I have something to blog about!
P.S. Couldn't see sparkly thingies because I'm on IE.
ReplyDeleteMJ, Security has been dispatched along with the waiter to bring you a fresh glass!
ReplyDelete*Raises glass and clinks on the side*
May I have your attention please, We'd like to remind our esteemed guests that there will be no rimming at the ceremonies! Save that and the body shots for the after party!
IDV x2, Another great use of lemons! I enjoy your enchanted writings (and adventures in space and time!). Your posts are fantastic!
Oh, and thanks for the heads up about IE. I've never used IE to view my blog, as I use Firefox a lot. Well, I went on IE and lo and behold, some things look totally different! I've updated to reflect what happens with using the marquee tag! Thanks for the report!
Wheeeee! I can see the 'Congratulations' sliding across the screen!
ReplyDeleteI would like to thank God and my mum.
ReplyDeleteAnd now I'm going to cry tears of joy.
Eros, I am totally taken aback that you have awarded me the Lemons thingy! How cool! And a great big thanks..... and I have a pitcher of Margaritas waiting just for you.
ReplyDeleteOn second thought, I will bring the pitcher to your place. It is a little chilly up here to be drinking 'Ritas - need a patio to sit on and mine is under a couple inches of snow.
Lemons are great on fish! I love them on fish! Also on shrimp. And I make a killer lemon meringue pie.... it is tart so be prepared to pucker up!
Actually, I will eat lemon wedges all by them selves... chew them up and pucker like mad from all the sours! Yummy stuff!
Yeah, okay... so I am weird... what can I say?
*shuffles off, all embarrassed*
Thank you for my award . I shall ignore Miss MJ (One of the bitter ones) and accept my award for all humanity
ReplyDelete***hugs cardboard cutout of Nelson Mandela***
**sobs**
Unfortunately I can't be with you tonight but I sent you all this message:
ReplyDeleteHi everyone, thanks so much for this *holds up award* fabulous award. I am so sorry I couldn't be with you as I am extremely busy working. Love to you all! Pete xxx
PS: MJ this is my second award darling. *smiles*
IDV, *Raises arms in air and enjoys the ride*
ReplyDeleteExcellent! I'm glad you can see it now.
Snooze, The camera loves you! And the public enjoys a good show of tears!
Ponygirl, Must be a Canadian thing, because MJ likes sucking on lemons, too! Well, at least you don't have to worry about scurvy!
You're welcome to join the party!
Beast, Nelson Mandela couldn't here at the ceremonies; but he sent Naomi Campbell in his place; just keep cellphones away from her and all should be well.
CP, And the Academy thanks you for your wonderful message. We look forward to more of your work!
P.S. Don't agitate MJ; wait til the after party--more paparazzi foto ops and you can blame alcohol for any fights!
Oh right. The afterparty.
ReplyDeleteI hope Paris Hilton isn't going to be there, I hate mingling with trash.
CP, The After Party will be a garbage free and STD free zone, so no Paris Hilton!
ReplyDeleteI'm touched....
ReplyDeleteReminds me of being alone with my math teacher.
Tickers, I hope you got an award for being an apt pupil and the teacher's pet.
ReplyDelete