Closing Ceremonies Review

Well, the Beijing Olympics finally came to a close Sunday night. On a whole, it was a good show. But I can't help but be bothered by some of the small parts of the show that really bugged the hell out of me. I thought the Opening Ceremonies was much better, but I wonder if it's because the Closing Ceremonies is just depressing because it means it's all over.

But let's talk about the stuff that was really impressive. Once again, the Chinese put on a great performance! What about those huge cheese wheels in the skies?






And how about that human torch!



No, not that human torch,



This human torch! All those people running up and down and flailing and dancing, making intricate patterns! What a masterpiece!











I totally dug how they ran up those large lengths of cloths to make a beautiful flower! And how awesome were those athletes when they all took to the fields to mingle and celebrate together! They looked like they were having so much fun. What a colorful and spectacular ending to the games!








And now, let's talk about the few things that irked the hell out of me...

First of all, who the hell decided to put Leona Lewis and that guitarist in the show, and thought it was a great idea? Because, really, they could've just cut them out and the show would've been so much better. The song just didn't fit the atmosphere, and the whole guitar playing thing was just, eh, not all that great.

What was the point of having David Beckham? Really? They couldn't find another Olympic athlete from Great Britain to represent them at the Closing Ceremonies? I mean, does Bekcham still play for the UK? Last I heard, he was playing for L.A., but apparently, the L.A. soccer team still sucks. Still, I don't recall Great Britain sending over a soccer team for the Beijing Olympics...then again, if they did, I sure didn't hear about Beckham playing on it.

And what the hell was Leona Lewis wearing? Which drag queen did she steal that outfit from? And more importantly, why wasn't it burned in the Olympic cauldron?



Speaking of drag queens, apparently, Placido Domingo likes to sing with them. No sane woman would wear that Xmas wrapping crap with the sci fi collar!


It's like the top entertainers dropped the baton in the heats, and these losers were left to compete in the finals! But the most disturbing thing of all had to be those damned interpretive dancers! For gawd's sake, who the hell hired these people? Who thought it was a great idea? And why weren't the Chinese police beating them down like Tibetan protesters?



Listen up, London (and Vancouver), there should be no interpretive dancers at the ceremonies! Unless they're being shot out of a canon, interpretive dancers should be banned from all Olympic ceremonies. God knows they're not as entertaining or attractive as the rhythmic gymnasts or synchronized swimmers. For gawd's sake, those dancers are a terrible distraction and look stupid writhing around the stage, making everyone else feel uncomfortable. If I were a volunteer at the Beijing Olympics, I'd've pelted those interpretive dancers with bottled water til they fell off the bus and had to be stretchered out of the stadium!