Monday, and I start my fourth week at work. As the new guy, I've been very lucky to have been welcomed and supported by the regular staff. It could be my excellent skills, but truthfully, I think it helps to be absolutely handsome--and I'm only repeating what I've been told ;) Unfortunately, as the new (good looking--again, just repeating what I've been told) fellow, I've unwittingly attracted the attention of two female coworkers. Now, I don't mind the attention, but as some of my sexy readers can surely relate, being beautiful can sometimes be a burden.
I don't mind that these two ladies are few years older. After all, experience teaches many new skills. I do however, have a major problem with dating coworkers. Sure, I also have reservations about one of them being married with a child--I don't need no baby daddy drama. Trust me, it's no fun trying to duck the crazy husband/boyfriend of the lady you're dating, especially when you've both done things that led you to believe that she was single. The other lady, while pleasantly plump, shows signs of being psychotic. It's that true crazy girls (and artists) are often unbelievable fantastic in adult recreation. Unfortunately, they're also likely to throw heavy/sharp objects at you and threaten to kill you or themselves on a daily basis. That gets very dangerous, not to mention very messy. After a short while, it completely drains the joy of adventurous adult relations.
The main objection I have, though, is that I don't believe in dating coworkers. It can get very messy and productivity often declines. You should never mix business with pleasure...unless you're in the pleasure business. In which case, you're either a porn star or a prostitute; I'm not either, at least, not yet...
Yay! I'm first!
ReplyDeleteTake THAT IVD.
Ooh, MJ! Put THAT away - No one wants to see it. It's not big or clever... OK, so it is big, but it's certainly not clever. And it looks like it's lost some of its elasticity, too.
ReplyDelete* vomits *
So, Eroswings. Handsome, eh?
How do you do? * winks *
Congratulations Eroswings!
ReplyDeleteWear The Shorts proudly.
Don't let IVD chat you up. You have no idea where he's been.
ReplyDeleteI have a photo of his warty bits if you'd like to see it. It'll be enough to put you right off.
Which reminds me...you'll want to bleach The Shorts after he's had his warty bits rubbed up against them.
I was just being friendly and welcoming, MJ. You know... Accomodating.
ReplyDeleteDon't listen to her stories of my warty bits - They're not at all.
Although I think I caught one or two wearing The Shorts after MJ'd been in them.
Accommodating? IVD can comfortably accommodate an entire fleet of sailors on shore leave. And has!
ReplyDeleteWell done proud shorts winner!
ReplyDeleteMy counselling fees are reasonably cheap.
Like MJ.
Congratulations! The next FGESC should be fantastic!
ReplyDeleteAlso, mucho enjoyment of your music videos, keep 'em coming!
Congrats on winning the shorts!
ReplyDeleteWear them proud and with caution as the likes of SID and MJ have worn them before IDV
*vomits*
So attractive, yeah? *batters eyelashes*
Oi, CyberSlut! I was here first, go and make a play for someone else!
ReplyDelete* batters and deep fries CyberSlut's eyes *
Is this going to turn into a catfight or are you going to just go away IDV?
ReplyDeletebecause I've been catching up on season 2 of Dynasty and my nails are long, red and so ready to scratch your eyes out darling
*grins*
Oi!
ReplyDeleteDynasty rocks!
It's fabulous even
-Oh Blake I'll get you for this!
* dons Krystle's American Football style shoulder pads and a handful of sequins *
ReplyDeleteI'm ready, CyberSlut!
Perhaps, once we've finished, we can team up to destroy Piggy?
Thank you so much...
ReplyDeleteMJ: Congrats on coming first to the site! Would like a cigarette?
IDV: I do need to get some winks; I've got a few hours before it's back to the salt mines.
MJ: I shall wear those Shorts loud and proud.
SID: I shall schedule an appt ASAP;
perhaps gets some info on support groups in the area.
MJ: I've a friend with a fancy Tobi that's suppose the steam the hell out of germs on fabrics. I shall have the Shorts steamed for several days.
IDV: As long you remembered to release those warts back in the wild, everything will be okay.
MJ: That IDV is such a patriot. I would expect nothing less from the Queen of England.
T Bird: Welcome! I do love music videos; unfortunately, MTV is all about those trampy, ridiculous "reality" shows--which I've mistaken for another Girls Gone Wild infomercial. So I'm glad Youtube has vids I can check out.
CyberPete: I shall wear protection when I'm in contact with the shorts.
IDV: Make sure it's trans fat free oil you're using; it's healthier.
CyberPete: Make sure it's the pool area that you both fall in and tear each other's clothes off.
Piggy and Tazzy: At least it's not 7th Heaven.
CyberPete: Don't forget the fierce bitch slaps to get your point across!
IDV: Don't forget your large hat and fur coat as part of your battle armor.
CyberPete: Make sure you've a clone to replace Piggy once he's been captured.
ReplyDeleteI SAY GO FOR IT!
ReplyDeletealthough, i have to admit...the last thing i thought i'd see when i got here is a post about "MILF'S AT WORK"
It's almost as if my life is a low budget bargain bin porn vid...full of boring plots and forgettable characters who sometimes manage to do interesting things every once in a while.
ReplyDelete