Friday, February 1, 2013

Shopping Carts

Today, I got up early to do some grocery shopping.  I arrived in the nearly empty parking lot to find several shopping carts taking up parking spaces.  It was very irritating.  When did people become so lazy and inconsiderate?  How hard is it to walk the few extra steps to put the shopping cart in the shopping cart return rack?  There's a rack every ten parking spaces, so really, it doesn't even take but a few seconds to return the shopping cart to a rack.  And by returning it, I mean push it into the rack, not just leave it hanging out by the rack, where the cart could roll away and hit a car or even block parking.

When did it become okay to just leave the shopping carts all over the place instead of returning it to the racks?  When did people become lazy, inconsiderate idiots? 

After I was done shopping and had put away the groceries in my trunk, I pushed my cart and rounded up another two left in the adjacent parking spaces towards the nearest return rack.  I spent less than a minute straightening out the mess of shopping carts scattered at the return rack.  Seriously, it is not that hard to return a shopping cart to the return rack.  What is hard for me to understand though is how lazy and rude people have become.

On the way back home, I stopped by another store to return an item.  I found myself waiting behind a man riding one of those motorized shopping carts.  It was a little annoying to me how he kept backing up and then go forward and back up again, trying to make some sort of adjustment.  Adjustment for what?  I don't know.  There were no obstacles to go around, just a straight shot to the customer service rep and wide open spaces to roll around.  The only item in his cart was a pink bottle of Pepto Bismol.

I got the feeling that he was just killing time, playing around with the motorized shopping cart until it was his turn to see the service rep.  And wouldn't you know it?  As soon as it was his turn, he couldn't figure out how to parallel park along the customer service desk, so he just stood up and did his transaction standing for several minutes.  And when he was done, he sat down in the motorized cart and wheeled off.

When I completed my return and exited the store, I saw the man who rode the motorized cart driving away in a car that was parked next to mine.  Imagine my annoyance when I found the damned motorized cart left right by my driver's door!  That lazy bastard had driven the motorized cart out of the store and then just rudely left it blocking my car door!  What's even worse, the damned battery was drained and I couldn't move the thing out of my way.  I had to squeeze through a foot and half opening to get inside my car, all while cursing that lazy bastard who left that damned cart in my way! 

In my rage, I invoked all the vengeful gods I could think of--short of the ones that required chicken sacrifices--to place a curse upon this bastard!  I hope he gets food poisoning, and may the only bowl he spends time with this Sunday be the porcelain kind!

A few minutes later, on the way home, I came upon the street construction that had blocked off one of the lanes, reducing the flow of traffic to one lane going under the overpass, and the one lane for access on the highway only.  As the traffic slowed down to a crawl, I saw a car ahead of mine on the right side, the highway access side, blinking a signal, trying to squeeze into my lane to go under the overpass.  And wouldn't you know it?  It was the lazy bastard from the store!

Oh sweet fortune!  The gods had answered my prayers!  But I calmed myself down and reasoned that I was a better person, not a vengeful one, and I considered his predicament.  It sucks trying to cross into another lane, especially when everyone is in a rush but traffic is crawling, and cars are lined up with just a few inches separating them.  Most drivers will NOT let you cut in, because everyone is so focused on getting out the construction site as fast as possible--and most people become jerks on the roads, especially with construction detours--it comes from a mixture of anger and survival instinct. 

I thought to myself, really, I am the kind of person that would let someone cut in front of me, because I would want the same courtesy if I, too, suddenly found myself needing to cross over into the other lane at a construction site slowdown.  And with the traffic light now red, I found my car behind a pick up truck that was right next to the bastard's blinking car.  I could see his pleading eyes in the car window, looking at me pitifully, hoping that I would let him cut in front of me.  I figured, if the light turned green, I could pause my car long enough to let the inconsiderate bastard cut in front of me and be on his merry way.  That would be the courteous thing to do.

But you know what, I didn't feel so courteous.  Oh no.  Not now, not then.  The gods had given me a gift!  And when that light turned green, I kept the space tight between me and the pick up truck and slowed the car all the way up to the overpass, forcing that bastard on the right to take the highway access instead of crossing over.  The look of panic and disbelief on his face, his mouth dropping wide open, made me break out into a big laugh!  The next exit was a mile down the highway.  He would have to make the turnaround then, adding a whole 2 miles to his drive!  In your face, you lazy, inconsiderate bastard!  It's not so nice when people are selfish, isn't it, you bastard!?!  What goes around comes around.  And if you're a rude, inconsiderate bastard to people, don't be surprised when people don't give a damn about you!

16 comments:

LX said...

[high-five]

Well played, sir. Well played.

PS: Same-same with the carts in the HEB lot here.

eroswings said...

LX,
[returns high-five]

That bastard had it coming!

Most days I try be peaceful and serene like the Buddha. Other days, I channel Genghis Khan!

And it was a HEB Plus that I shopped at this morning!

Scarlet Blue said...

This is why I do all my shopping online.
Sx

eroswings said...

Scarlet, Sometimes, I like to feel up the goods-and maybe give 'em good sniff--before taking them home.

Tara said...

Oh, I hate it so much when people don't return their carts to the racks! On occasion, I do round up some of the stray carts and put them in the racks. Most of the time, and this is going to sound weird, I actually feel sorry for the deserted grocery carts.

Wow, I haven't experienced the scooter guy yet, but that would burn me up.

MJ said...

If you touch the shopping carts, be sure to wear gloves.

eroswings said...

Tara, It does look kind of sad to see lone carts abandoned in the parking lots--almost gives the place a desolate ghost town look. I hope you never have to come across scooter guy--there're a lot of them around here! I'm not sure if they've migrated down here for the warm weather or the locals are just getting lazy.

MJ, I am so thankful my local grocery store stocks up on the shopping cart wipes! I grab those before I grab a shopping cart. It keeps me safe from the filthy unwashed masses who also shop at the grocery store!

Donnnnnnnn said...

Hello..how are things?

Don't get me started on wiping down shopping cart handlesssssss
((blech!))

LX said...

Merry Christmas

Ms Scarlet said...

Yes, Happy Christmas!!
Sxxxxx

eroswings said...

LX and Scarlet, Thank you very much and Happy Holidays

-----((*))--
------*o*---
----*o*o*--
--*o*o*o*o*
o*o*-]o[-*o*o

and Happy New Year to the both of you!!!

(--*)....(--*)
_I_....._I_ Cheers!!!

eroswings said...

P.S. Donn, today, I went to the far end of the grocery store to find those wipes to clean off the handles of the shopping cart. I refuse to catch germs from the filthy public this holiday (or any) season!

Peace on earth and Good health to all!

LX said...

Happy New Year!

Princess said...

Happy new year Mr Swings....

MJ said...

Happy New Year, Eros.

Will you be blogging the Sochi Olympics?

eroswings said...

LX, Princess, and MJ, Thank you and Happy New Year to all of you, too.

And yes, MJ, I've got my time blocked off for Sochi!